


Pennywise the Dancing Prick

by FairPhantooom



Series: A Word From The Wise [1]
Category: Dark Tower - Stephen King, IT (2017), IT - Stephen King, The Dark Tower (2017)
Genre: Clownfuckers unite, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Romance, F/M, Get off her lawn you dick, Multi, Oh god, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pennywise (IT) is His Own Warning, Reader does not want what Penny is selling, Sexy time will happen eventually but all the other stuff comes first yadda yadda, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Someone told me to put enemies to lovers, Where do i even begin to explain this hot mess, Y'all have probably read the other pennywise fics you know the drill, You romance the clown boy, but really, its just one-sided cause Pennywise gets pissy way too easily, so here it is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-06-26 15:28:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 32,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19771111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairPhantooom/pseuds/FairPhantooom
Summary: A chance encounter with a devourer leads to the downfall of your cozy normal life and leads to the uprising of complete and utter chaos. Join us in this lovely tale of clowns, demons (inner and outer), angst, subtle references to the Tower™ and the Turtle™, and discovering a love for the clown man himself. Pennywise.





	1. The Storm Before The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing Reader and her younger sister before all hell breaks loose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exposition! Exposition! Welcome to Derry where shit can only go wrong.

It was raining again.

Your eyes were gazing outside at the storm, the constant buzz of a flood warning on your tv seemingly unending. Blankly you watched the empty road outside, your body unwavering even as a spray of water flew against the window, making the frame shake slightly from the force of the wind.

“No,” You quietly corrected yourself while staring out the rain-muddled window. “That isn’t _quite_ right, because for it to rain again would mean that at some point the rain had _stopped_.”

And it had not.

It rained and rained like it was a sign from God that something was _wrong_.

Hearing the high pitched whine from the kitchen is what finally drew you from your thoughts. Shadows seemed to shift around the furniture of your living room as you make your way to the voice that was starting to repeat your name in different octaves and pronunciations, believing that if they said it in strange ways that you would appear faster.

Upon entering the kitchen, you frowned slightly. Had it not been the first time you had seen this happen you probably would have panicked a bit more. Sitting on top of the counter was your delightful younger sister, Josie.

Her hand was buried in a box of animal crackers that you kept in the cabinet above her head. Bright young eyes met your tired ones, and she lifted the box up as if to share. “Ah- No, I’m good Josie, I already ate.” Walking over you maneuvered around the child sitting on the counter and started to clean up the mess of crumbs that she had made during her expedition to your snack cabinet.

“Aw! C’mon Sis! Live a little!! Stop being a boring adult like Mom and Dad!”

Live a little? You felt the corners of your mouth turn up slightly in response to her words. Josie was so free-spirited compared to you. She had big dreams- aspirations to become a fashion designer. Only seven years old and ready to take the world by storm.

You, on the other hand, did not have the option to live as Josie could. The small world you lived in consisted of working and sleeping. Other people your age would regard you as someone who had succeeded in life, you had a full-time job, a humble home, and a car to drive at your leisure.

What they seem to ignore is the fact that you didn’t want any of it. Your parents - _whom you love dearly_ \- were too much to handle sometimes. Whereas with Josie, who did not understand the ways of the world quite yet and had the imagination of a child in a constant sugar high, you were raised with the concept of success rather than _fun_.

You envied her.

When you turned sixteen, your parents immediately started teaching you about driving, how to get your permit, how you get your license, and what do if A, B, and/or C happens. It was tiresome, but you foolishly believed that once you got your license you could relax and bask in the joys of your late teens.

Oh, how wrong you were.

The day you got your photo license was the same day your beloved parents pulled out job applications. Applications for the diner down the street, where you learned to take orders and wait on people, or the local grocery store where you cashiered and stocked foods that you didn’t even know existed, and lets not forget the paramount theater they had wanted you to work at for the sake of having a well-rounded resume.

Trying to persuade them was like pulling your own hair out. Frustrating, to say the least.

“Sis?”

You were abruptly pulled from your thoughts as Josie’s small hand gripped your shoulder concerned. She had seen you break down a few times from stress, and knew the signs of when you were close to falling into that despair filled abyss.

Exhaling you shook your head forcing the unpleasantness from your mind. “Sorry, Josie. I’m fine, work has just gotten hectic lately. You know how it is.” You swallowed the lump in your throat, you hated lying to her. And while what you said wasn’t _exactly_ a lie, it wasn’t the whole truth either.

“Mom and Dad have been talking again haven’t they?”

You flinched, it wasn’t fair how well this child read you. They were spot on, as always.

You knew your parents meant well. They raised you the way they did because they thought that it was the proper way, the right way. Pushing you- _molding_ you into the daughter that would be able to handle the harshness of the world.

_But how the fuck does marriage tie into that thought process?_

Marriage? _Marriage_. No. _No_. That was where you drew the line. You played the dutiful daughter role for eighteen years. Dating was not on your to-do list. Not now- Probably not ever.

You remembered the arguments, still clear as day in your mind. They tried and tried until eventually you couldn’t take it anymore and decided to move out.

Which is how you discovered the one other lone house on Neibolt Street. It had surprised you at first - You only knew of the one abandoned home on the street - but soon you found that underneath all the obedience that had been carved into you was an incredible amount of _spite_.

They hated the house - They hated the street and the fact that it was near the abandoned house - and constantly told you it was a horrible idea.

So naturally, that house was the perfect one for you.

Ironically, the small home was the best on the market at the time, but nobody wanted it since it was near the rumored crackhouse. So despite how well it was maintained, it was still listed for a dirt cheap price. Your _car_ costed more than the house.

It was cozy, humble home. It had two bedrooms- a master and a guest, a small but efficient kitchen, a lovely white-gold bathroom, a maple-themed dining room, an open spaced living room, and...

and a basement.

It was the only part of the house that hadn’t been renovated and honestly? It freaked you out a tiny bit the first time you saw it. Now it’s fine and dandy, and you use it to store away holiday decor and other miscellaneous stuff you own.

But.......You _almost_ miss it. The fear. The thrill of running back up the stairs to get away from some unseen entity. The rush of adrenaline surging through you as you escape. _However_ , you always felt childish after, which is probably why the fear went away.

You were an adult. You had to act the part.

Which brings you back to the present yet again. Maybe you were more tired than you initially thought. Or perhaps the rain was making you zone out. Either way, you didn’t tolerate it.

Josie seemed to feel the same way.

“Sis, can we go visit Georgie? I wanna go plaaay!!”

Georgie Denbrough. You used to babysit his brother when you were younger. Memories of sunshine and helping him learn how to read flooded your mind and you smiled. However, it hadn’t been that long since you last visited, and showing up out of the blue isn’t exactly encouraged.

“Georgie might be busy, Josie. It’s not polite to show up uninvited to someone’s home.”

Despite your words, you drummed your fingers on the countertop and reached out for your lanyard that had your IDs and car keys on it. While you might not be able to take her to her current hyper-fixation - You knew she was crushing on the poor boy - You figured that you could at least take her out to eat somewhere nice.

“I heard that the special today at the diner is super tasty, you wanna go check it out?” You glanced at the clock while helping her get down from the counter briefly noting that curfew wasn’t for a few more hours. Plenty of time to spend eating before you had to bring your sister back to your parents who had pretty much dropped her on you out of the blue.

Suddenly, that reminded you. “Hey Josie, you never did tell me why you came to visit today. Is everything okay back home?” The girl giggled happily while tying her shoes and putting on her flower patterned raincoat.

“They wanted me to see if you were secretly dating someone behind their backs.”

Your eye noticeably twitched as you walked over to the front door to grab your own rain gear. “Unfortunately for them, _I am not_. And that won’t change in the foreseeable future.” You had to bite your tongue to stop yourself from swearing in front of her. The last thing you needed was for your parents to be banging at the door claiming that you were a negative influence and a bad role model for their precious little girl.

Inhaling deeply, you shoved the annoyance you felt into the back of your mind. You had better things to do. Like getting chicken nuggets and ice cream for the family member that wasn’t trying to control your life.

Unfurling an umbrella, you held the door open for Josie, and with a smile on your face that didn’t quite reach your eyes, you looked back at her. “C’mon kiddo, let’s get some food for that unending hunger you have, alright?”

She practically sprinted past you to the car, and you felt a sinking sensation in your gut. The same sensation that you got when something bad happened.

_Or will happen._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no Reader whatever is gonna happen to youuuu I have nooo ideaaaa
> 
> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	2. One Sided Meet-and-Greet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader and Josie embark on their Journey to the diner but shit goes sideways

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excitement! Adventure! Yellow blobs! 
> 
> The epitome of coolness!

You had half a mind to simply turn around and go back home. It was pouring outside, the weather was absolutely awful. Not to mention the further from home you got, the worse that sensation in your stomach became.

You felt like you were being _watched_.

“Sis, can I turn on the radio?”

You nodded your head and simply kept your eyes on the road while Josie leaned forward to mess the FM-AM knobs on the display under the dashboard. She cycled through the stations a few times, always taking a few seconds to listen to what was playing before inevitably changing it. You heard some jazz, alternative, rock, and a few other genres go by before she settled on something.

Classical.

An interesting choice at first glance, but you knew your sister, just as she knew you. Classical music was something she listened to when she was feeling tense. The piano always soothed her as a baby so it became a habit for her to drown herself in music whenever she was sick or feeling under the weather.

You frowned at the implication.

“Josie? Are you okay, honey?”

Your mind went from tired babysitter to concerned parent in less than a second when you heard her groan that she wasn’t feeling so good from the backseat. She was car-sick from eating nothing but snacks and she might just throw up? Brilliant. Fantastic. And you weren’t even near the diner yet. Fucking hell.

A whirlwind of thoughts spun in your head as you struggled to find a place to pull over. You had taken a few side streets because main-roads were god awful with this type of weather, everyone took them because they thought it was safest but _because_ everyone took it someone always _inevitably_ ended up in an accident. Side streets through the suburbs were your forte anyway. They were always clear of traffic and you didn’t need to worry about fender benders because everyone went at a fucking snail's pace all the time. Not to mentio-

“Georgie!”

You slammed on the brakes and swore loudly. “Jesus Christ, Josie! What have I told you about-“ You were interrupted by Josie carelessly opening the car door and running toward a small yellow blob that was crouched near a storm drain.

Cursing a few more times you pulled over to the side of the road and hastily grabbed your umbrella before sprinting over to the two children near the drain. The closer you got the more you could see it was actually Georgie and your heart calmed down slightly.

“Josie! Don’t you ever pull that shit agai-“

You were interrupted by what sounded like a growl coming from the sewer and you instinctive grabbed the two kids, yanking them back while tightly gripping the hoods of their raincoats. What the fuck was _that?_ Josie whined from the sudden rough treatment.

“Sis-“

“Go wait in the car.” You paused glancing back at the drain and then at Georgie. “Both of you - get in the car and _stay there_.” Watching them walk back and eventually get into the car you exhaled a tiny bit.

Now for the other problem.

Glancing over at the drain you cringed slightly. You didn’t want to go anywhere remotely near it. Your pulse was racing and you really didn’t want to have to report to animal control that there was something in the sewers. You didn’t want to be that person, you had enough of your own shit to deal with.

Severely annoyed and on the verge of having a panic attack you were about to do just that. Ignore it. Move on and pretend nothing was there. Go to the diner and have a caramel ice cream sundae and worry about stupid things, like bills and the weather. Not- Not whatever was-

You heard the chime of bells and a muffled giggle.

Yeah. No. Fuck pretending.

You went over the storm drain and crouched down. With your heart in your throat, you scanned the interior of the drain. Your gaze shifted along the wall and floor looking for something, anything. Praying that whatever you saw was just some small animal that got washed away into the sewers from the rain and only growled out of fear. Or maybe you hoped that your paranoid heart was wrong and that you _wouldn’t_ see anything.

Your hand gripped the sidewalk in front of you painfully tight. Holding your breath you forced your heart to slow down- to dull the panic that threatened to overwhelm you.

That’s when you saw it.

There was a spot along the far wall that seemed….. distorted. _Warped_. It reminded you of how invisibility worked in games. The character couldn’t be seen outright but there was a clear distortion of where their body _was_. After trying different angles and realizing that it wasn’t your eyes playing tricks on you or the lighting being weird you felt a strange sense of anxiety fill you.

_Was…… was something actually there…..?_

Almost enchanted by the prospect you began to lean in closer to reach out toward the distortion before hearing the loud horn of your car go off making you jump, followed by a round of childish giggling belonging to the two impatient children.

You groaned and shook your head before turning toward the two over-eager kids sitting in the car.

“Sis! Hurry up!!! I wanna go!!!”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at Josie’s immaturity. Funny how her sudden illness vanished now that she was with Georgie.

“Okay! Okay! I’m coming! Just don't honk the horn- and get out of the driver's seat! You’re not old enough to sit there! ”

You glanced back at the drain one last time before turning on your heel to head back to the car. Exhaustion had to be getting the better of you. Imagination running wild from lack of sleep. There wasn’t anything in the sewers. You were just tired.

Repeating that over and over you made your way over to the car and got inside exhaling a breath of relief you didn’t know you had. Josie and Georgie were giggling about something in the backseat as you put your car key into the ignition.

“Sis, did you see him?”

You almost missed her question because you were already thinking of how to re-route to get to the diner. Looking in the rearview mirror you blinked at Josie in confusion.

“Who?”

Josie bounces in her seat in glee and gestures toward the storm drain they had been at. “The clown! Didn’t you see him?! He was staring at you when you came over!” You opened your mouth to respond but nothing came out. Of all things your sister could have said you weren’t expecting that.

Pulling the stick out of park and into drive you looked around quickly before moving back onto the road. A chill had run up your back as you shifted a tiny bit in your seat thinking over her words. You thought back to the storm drain and started to glare at the road in front of you out of frustration and a tiny bit of fear.

There had been nothing there.

It felt like you were lying to yourself to keep your sanity.

The pit in your stomach returned.

“What did he look like, Josie?”

What your sister described seemed relatively normal, considering everything. White face paint, lots of frills, orange pom-poms dotting the front of the costume, and copper hair that seemed to defy gravity.

_Had she really seen a clown?_

You swallowed and shook your head. No, you wouldn’t let yourself believe something so foolish and dumb. There had been nothing there. You saw to that first hand.

It felt like a lie.

Pressing a little harder on the pedal you hurried along toward the small diner. A beacon of normality that would surely clear the haze of strangeness you were feeling.

_Right?_

* * *

Different.

You were…. _Different._

He had been in the middle of making his next meal when a shrill girlish voice cut through the air, interrupting the atmosphere he had created around the boy in front of him. Annoyance flared through his form as you came running toward the boy carelessly. You were more concerned with not getting your clothes wet than wondering why a child was hanging out near a storm drain. _Why couldn’t you have taken a different road? Why couldn’t you have ignored him? Why weren’t you like **the others**?_

He was hungry and _you were in the way_.

The growl left him before he even realized he had done it and the flicker of fear from you nearly sent him in a bloodthirsty spiral. He had only just awoken from his long rest and he _needed food now_.

Inhaling deeply he watched you direct the kids back toward the car before willingly making your way back toward the drain. A lone sheep wandering into a lion's den, the hungry eyes of a predator watching their every move.

He felt his form shift and churn under your gaze as he contemplated how to best to make a meal out of you. Your eyes were so focused - _So Sharp_ \- but you couldn’t have been able to see him.

You _shouldn’t_ have.

Yet your gaze did not waver, it was honed on him as if unable to comprehend what it was seeing. He felt a small pang of interest ripple within him as he watched your expression contort from one emotion to another.

_What did you see?_

He tried to peer into your mind, to see what you saw and was greeted by a very intriguing sight, if not infuriating. There was nothing but a vast white abyss, nothing there for him to learn.

**_Why?_ **

It irked him greatly. Why couldn’t he, an entity as old as time with knowledge far beyond the pathetic grasp of humanity, see into your head? Growing restless he sifted through your mind only to come across something that only enraged him further.

A barrier.

No, your mind was not empty and as dull as he would have believed, but rather there was a wall. An impenetrable wall that had no foreseeable cracks. His form swirled in anger and he could barely restrain himself from just killing you right then and there. In the span of a few seconds, the insatiable hunger became an afterthought to him as his pride as a superior race was being indirectly questioned.

Humanity no longer had to ability to use otherworldly magics or tools. The true concepts of the mages and witches of old were dead and buried, much like anything else that threatened his way of living. There was nothing in Derry that he didn’t know or that he didn’t have access to.

Until now.

In your mind he was digging into the wall with his form, trying to create cracks where there were none. You had no right to defy him, you were his prey. Nothing more, nothing less. You were food to sate the unending hunger, you were nothing compared to him.

**_How dare you go against that._ **

Watching you lean down with your gaze unmoving he inhaled sharply as you started to extend a hand out toward him. Images and thoughts flashed in his head, what would he do?

While he couldn’t read your thoughts, he could sense the flickers of fear that occasionally came from you before being snuffed out. He could see the hesitation. The _reluctance_. You felt uncomfortable but were nowhere near being scared. He wanted more from you - He _needed_ more. So it would seem that death was not here for you, _not yet_.

He was starving, oh he was _ravenous indeed_ , but you deserve to suffer _greatly_.

Your death would not be a quick one, he decided.

So despite the growing hunger within him, he leaned back and away from you. He wouldn’t have you now, but rather later when you thought you were safe and alone. While you rested and relaxed he would dive into your mind and find that which you feared most before brutally and mercilessly killing you in the cruelest way possible.

 _Yes_ , he thought, _Your death would be a painful one indeed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fucker and his italics, I swear to go d.
> 
> Pennywise 101: God Complex that can't fucking chill for two damn seconds.


	3. Locked and Hidden Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader goes to the diner but things don't go as planned.
> 
> An.... unexpected visitor appears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just when you thought you'd see the end of the weird shit.
> 
> Welp.

“You okay, hon?”

You perked up and lifted your gaze from the warm mug of apple cider in your hands. A familiar face was looking at you in concern from the other side of the counter and you grimaced slightly in response.

Caroline Tozier, the grandmother of one of your old babysitting clients, Richie Tozier. She decided to work at the diner for her last few years before retirement and had been the one to train you when you had first started working at the diner. 

She was a sweet old lady who knew the history of Derry like the back of her hand. You looked up to her in a way, she had lived a fulfilling life in this shithole of a town. Not many can really say that.

“Uh, yeah, I’m fine Carol…. I’m just ... _tired_.”

A half-truth. You were tired amongst other things.

Getting to the diner wasn’t difficult despite the raging storm. The diner was empty when you had arrived and had remained vacant during the course of your small meal. You still felt a bit uncomfortable compared to your younger companions. Josie and Georgie had immediately settled into the warm homely atmosphere of the old diner and had sat at one of the kiddie tables in the small play area.

From atop the barstool you sat on you had watched the two of them play for a while, observing them alternate between eating and expending the endless energy they had. It was a nice distraction from the constant worries of what had occurred earlier.

Looking up into Carol’s eyes you saw your own exhausted reflection and you frowned when she shook her head at your lie.

“Come now, there is no need to hide things. You came in looking like you’d seen a ghost and have kept looking over your shoulder ever since.” The elderly waitress gently laid her hand on your shoulder as she moved closer while lowering her voice.

“Are they talking about marriage again?”

You inhaled sharply and your grip on your mug tightened. For some reason your parents didn't like you hanging around her, saying that you should be around people your own age, but you had zero desire being around hot-headed young adults who only wanted to get laid and high. Besides, Carol was the most down to earth person you knew and you trusted her judgment. She was the first person that you had told when your parents had started to bring up the topic of marriage and she was the one who helped you through the process of picking out a house. She was always there to comfort you when life had become a burden. There was a shared understanding between you two that you couldn’t quite explain.

“Yes but…. there is something else….”

She quirked a brow and you shifted slightly, unsure of how to explain. But before you could get the chance to speak Carol narrowed her eyes slightly and her demeanor changed into something a tad more serious.

“Has your sleep improved?”

You froze not expected her to ask that specific question. A long time ago when you had first spilled everything to Carol you and her had decided to keep certain things a secret. But for the most part, you only saw her when you worked so the two of you developed a secret code of sorts to talk about certain things in public without being discovered.

Swallowing nervously you looked over at Josie to make sure she wasn’t listening before responding to Carol.

“Yes.”

Carol’s expression fell slightly and she gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze. “When... When did it start to improve....”

Your gaze shifted back to the liquid contents swirling around in your mug. This was a conversation you hadn’t been prepared to have and were not excited to talk about.

“....A few nights ago.”

The words felt heavy on your tongue.

You felt her hand fall from your shoulder to your hands that were wrapped around the warm mug. She wore a bittersweet smile on her face as she spoke.

“You shine brighter than the sun, my child. What you feel now will pass eventually....”

You understood her words. It hadn’t been the first time she had said them and you found your solace in them. She knew things about you that even your parents didn’t know and she had guided you through the trials that life has thrown at you.

“Thank you, Carol.”

There was an extended moment of silence between the two of you before the annoying paranoia from earlier reared its head again. The sewers. Josie. The Clown.

Cautiously you looked back up at Carol who had started wiping down the counter around you. “Something happened earlier on my way over that is.... somewhat concerning... I’m sure it’s nothing but it just won’t leave me alone.”

You felt your throat constrict as if tell you not to say anything. That it was stupid to bring up.

But you couldn’t stop yourself.

“Josie said she saw something in the storm drain earlier....”

Carol abruptly halted in her cleaning and looked at you in alarm. She hastily ripped a napkin from one of the plastic containers before taking out the pen from her uniform to write something on it.

Not missing a beat she handed it to you.

_What did she see?_

You looked at her confused and were about to open your mouth to respond before she shook her head and pushed her pen toward you. The situation was strange, sure, but you had your own weirdness that she didn’t mind.

So you played along and wrote on the napkin.

 _A clown_.

Carol’s face became a ghostly white and she looked toward Josie and Georgie in a panic before turned toward you. Sitting up straighter you grabbed her hand no longer willing to stay silent.

“Carol, what’s wrong? It’s just our minds playing tricks, right? Why are you panicking?” A nervous smile made its way onto your face as you felt your stomach churn. This was not what you were expecting. You wanted a laugh and a shake of the head telling you that you were just paranoid.

Not _this_.

This time when she took a hold of your hands her grip was weak and her hands shook slightly.

_“Did it see you?”_

You were caught off guard by her tone and missed her question. “Huh?”

_“Child, did **it** see you?”_

You stiffened not understanding her urgency.

“I mean, I guess? Josie said that it was staring at me or something. But when I looked in the storm drain I didn’t see anything. It’s just an overactive imagination, right? There isn’t really anything down there, right?”

Your voice had lost its strength and sounded less like a question and more like a plea. A desperate cry to be wrong.

“Child, you need to leave Derry. _Immediately._ It’s no longer safe for you here.”

The words had your mind reeling in shock so much so that you didn’t notice the glare that Carol sent toward one of the glass windows near the front of the diner. Scrambling you opened your wallet to pay for the bill when you felt it.

Fingers cold as ice and sharp as knives digging into your skull with a merciless force causing you to cry out.

On reflex you gripped the counter, your whole sense of balance suddenly shifting drastically. Within a few seconds, your vision began to dim and sharp nausea began to spear through your stomach.

There was a yell and you saw Josie run toward you screaming with tears in her eyes.

“Get away from her!”

* * *

Gloved hands pressed against one of the glass windows of the diner and the eyes of a predator watched your skittish form twitching in your seat from anxiety.

Every time you looked over your shoulder at him he couldn’t help but snicker under his breath. You couldn’t see him from where he stood- nobody could. He was invisible to the human eye unless he willed it otherwise.

Though you could not see him, he relished in the way you squirmed as your instincts screamed for you to run. You reminded him of a small animal frozen in fear, their mind running in circles as certain death came upon them.

It was fun to watch.

He had grabbed a meal before he had tracked you back to the dinner and with the hunger dulled somewhat, he found a childlike glee in watching you _struggle_.

On his way over he had looked into the memories of those he had come across and learned everything he could about your pathetic existence and found himself disappointed. 

You were average. Normal. There wasn’t anything special about you in the slightest. It agitated him that of all people it was someone so unremarkable that managed to get on his nerves. He felt his gloves start to tear out of anger and he had to force himself to calm down.

Not yet.

_Not ye-T._

Swallowing his hatred he tried to tune back into the conversation you were having but found himself just wanting to barge in and rend you to pieces.

Fear be damned he just wanted to-

_What was that?_

His body stilled as he saw something move out of the corner of his eye. Nothing had changed in the diner, everyone was in the same places and yet _something was off_.

Shifting his gaze, his eyes flickered across the empty expanse of the diner as he started to move toward the entrance. Watching you he finally sensed the fear that had been swirling in the depths of your being.

_But why now?_

_What were you so afraid of?_

He replayed your words in his mind but none of it made sense. What were you hiding?

What did you know that _nobody else did?_

The next few moments happened in quick succession. He watched as you and the waitress, that he only _now_ recognized as those familiar fiery eyes burned into him, exchanged something before you suddenly were standing and digging around your wallet for something.

Then he saw it.

Something barely there, a black transparent being manifesting from behind you and sinking their claws into your head. He could feel them harvest the very fear that he had instilled within you and drain away your very will to fight. Narrowing his eyes he watched as Josie leaped up from the ground and threw herself at the shadow that was leeching off your soul.

But just as quickly as it had appeared it vanished, and with it had gone your energy it would seem. He saw you collapse onto the linoleum floor completely unconscious from the encounter.

When his own mind caught up with his body the only thing he could feel was blinding rage.

**_Who dared to trespass on his territory?_ **

He made his way into the diner not caring to hide himself from those there as he sauntered toward your body fully intending to torture you until you woke up and spilled your guts to him about everything before he ripped your insides out.

A small weathered hand grabbed the back of his costume and he whipped around in anger.

Liquid amber met soft cerulean.

“Get off of me, wretch!” The words were practically a snarl as drool was flung from his mouth. When she didn’t let go he shoved her away from him and watched with some satisfaction the pain that registered on her face when she stumbled back into the counter.

“Don’t hurt her! You promised!”

Her voice was weak and she moved protectively in front of you. The old entity sneered at her.

“That _promise_ broke the second you tried to tell her to leave Derry, _Care-Bear_.”

The woman cringed as the clown mocked her using her childhood nickname. Sauntering over to her, he began to rake through her memories.

“All grown up now, are we? You even have a grandkid now-“ He paused before chuckling darkly. “I bet his fear tastes exquisite.” Watching the horror dawn on the woman’s face made his chuckle become a full-blown cackle.

“Who do you want to save, _Care-Bear?_ Your own flesh and blood or this pathetic worm?” He shifted and did a twirl before extending his arms out to the side as if weighing the options. “Or maybe....”

“...I’ll just eat _both_.”

There was a small gasp before her resolve crumbled and she fell to her knees spewing apologizes and begs for mercy. Disgust ran through him as her annoying cries reached his ears. Humans were such stupid creatures.

But they could prove useful when manipulated.

A sickeningly sweet smile appeared on his face as he leaned down closer to her broken form. “Good to know you remember just who you are bargaining with, _Care-bear_.” He tucked a lock of silver hair behind her ear as he dove into her mind. It took a few seconds to find the info that he needed but once he did he leaned back sighing. He subdued his anger toward the girl that was passed out near them and gently lifted Carol’s face.

“Now now don’t cry, you still need to answer my question.”

His eyes glimmered with a familiar madness that made Carol wish she was younger so that she could just run away and never look back. Glancing back at you she shuddered and a sob got stuck in her throat. 

“M-My grandson- I-I” The words were like fire, they burned her mouth.

A smirk appeared on his face, pleased with her answer. Shifting his gaze over to you he fought back the urge to immediately give into the hunger and began to walk over to your unconscious body. So weak, so pitiful. Just as all humans were.

But he would enjoy breaking you all the same.

“W-Wait!” It was the girl, Josie. She had grabbed onto the frills around his wrist and looked at him with watery eyes. “P-Please! Don’t hurt m-my sister...”

A sob racked the child and the clown looked down at her with a cheshire smile on his face.

**_“Would you like to take her place instead?”_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear
> 
> 𝘴𝘪𝘱𝘴 𝘵𝘦𝘢


	4. A Devil's Favor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback Chapter Featuring some of Pennywise's Exploits over the years
> 
> Also some deep original story Lore™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Crisis

**December 24, 1962**

_‘Twas the night before Christmas,_  
_When fear filled the house,_  
_Nothing was spared, not even a mouse._  
_The weapons were held in their hands out of fear,_  
_In hopes that Sir Pennywise would finally appear._

The old house creaked and groaned with every footstep, no matter how light they were trying to be. Wandering through the abandoned house were two souls desperate for answers, and for closure.

“Michael... I don’t think it’s here....” A feminine voice squeaked. Dark locks of hair kept falling in front of her eyes but she didn’t have the courage to brush them back in fear of what she would see. Her hand was tightly clasped around the arm of her companion and she felt him shudder from her voice breaking the quiet.

“No.... No, it _has_ to be here....” His voice was slightly raised in pitch, his vocal cords tight from stress. The house was too quiet, yet too loud at the same time. Every noise they made had the potential to alert the very thing they feared. Michael’s grip on his paintball gun tightened and he shuffled forward, his senses heightened to the extreme.

“Tsk. Tsk. Trespassing on Christmas Eve? How _shameful_.”

Michael let out a shout and he whipped around to see the clown leaning against the doorframe they had just passed. Next to him the girl began to shake and patted around her waist for the weapon she had brought.

“Looking for this, Jenny?”

The clown extended his arm out and in his open palm was a pair of scissors with the ends sharpened to a dangerous point. They reflected the light coming through the broken beams of the ceiling and the clown mocking snipped the air with them.

“Sharp! Pointy! Were you planning to use these on me, little one?”

Jennifer shivered under the clown's gaze and It relished in the way her fear radiated off her. Shaking her head she frantically denied the possibility. Her chest felt like it was going to explode from how fast her heart pounded within.

The old entity drooled in hunger and humored the girl by nodded his head slowly, as if in thought.

“I thought not. You were always such a good girl, Jenny. So kind, so sweet, so..... _gentle_.”

She felt it. A sudden unnatural pull toward the monster. It surrounded her, enraptured her. If she wasn’t careful she knew that It would consume her, just like It had done so many others.

Michael grabbed her before she could take the first step forward. “Jennifer don’t let It get into your head. _Don’t let It in_.” His voice acted as an anchor, stopping her body from moving toward the clown that held her gaze. Swallowing she inhaled deeply and leaned into Michael trying to disconnect herself from whatever had latched on to her.

“Coming down already? Don’t you wanna float with me, Jenny? I have a special place for everyone who floats... I know _exactly_ where you would go....”

His voice was hypnotizing, like a thick sweet syrup that dragged her down further into a numbing abyss. The words were lost on her as she began to sway in place, her conscious mind started to waver. No longer did she see the world around her, everything unnecessary began to fall away until it was just her and something incomprehensible hovering in front of her.

“Jen? Jennifer?! Wake up!!”

Michael’s pleas fell on deaf ears as Jennifer’s body slipped away from him beginning to move toward the thing that entranced her. The clown merely smiled at the girl’s behavior and when she was close enough he raised his hand caressing the side of her face with a gentleness unbefitting of a monster like him.

“So fragile you humans are. Easy to break, Easy to kill, Easy to...... _eat_.” The clown leaned down brushing Jennifer’s hair to the side before looking at her neck in hunger.

“Please! Don’t hurt her! We only came because we wanted to make a deal with you!”

The entity chuckled before lazily looking up at the boy. “You wish to make a deal? Have you any idea just whom you are speaking with?” Gently he lifted his hand and adjusted Jennifer so she was facing her companion.

Michael’s grip on the gun tightened as he spoke. “Carol-“ His voice cracked. “Carol said we could broker a deal for our families protection.”

The clown quirked a brow at the name before realization dawned on his face. A dark laugh shook through his body. “Oh- Oh _Caroline_ you never cease to amaze me!” He wiped away a non-existent tear as if Michael had told him the funniest joke in history.

“Oh Mikey, _you utter fool_ , she _lied_ to you. She lied to ensure her own protection!”

The clown had started to drum his fingers against Jennifer’s neck as he watched Michael’s face contort in horror. He could see the betrayal practically written on the boy’s expression.

It gave the old clown an idea.

“Actually there is something you could give me.”

Michael’s grip on the gun loosened and the old entity watched amused at how quickly the boy dropped his guard at the thought of there being a happy ending to all of this.

“I will give you back Jenny and leave the two of you alone on one condition.”

Michael looked at him with such focused hopeful eyes that the clown had trouble stifling the hunger that started to resonant in his head again.

“You will give your first child to me.”

Michael’s expression contorted from one emotion to another over and over within the span of just a few seconds. Disgust and despair frequently made a repeat appearance on his face before he finally settled down enough to address the monster before him.

“Just... _Just_ the first, correct?”

The words were barely more than a whisper but the clown heard them loud and clear.

“Correct.”

Michael could barely think. The mere concept- the mere idea that he would agree to such a thing disgusted him. But he knew he didn’t have a choice.

Not if he wanted to live.

Swallowing he nodded his head, trying his best not to think about the disastrous consequences the deal could have on his future.

“ _Good doing business with you, Mikey_.”

With a snap of his fingers Jennifer awoke from the trance that she had been in and hastily ran back into the comfort of Michael’s arms, crying her eyes out. The moment that she blocked his vision the clown seemingly disappeared.

But he knew.

He knew the creature would come back.

* * *

**May 24, 1934**

_Monster._

No other word in her current vocabulary could fit the thing in front of her. It was a horrific existence, something she imagined would only appear in the worst of nightmares. Big blue eyes looked down at her from the top of the bookshelf in her room. It looked like a clown, but she knew better. Clowns were fun and told jokes that made her laugh.

They didn't look at her as if she was food.

Clutching the blankets tighter to her she yanked them over her head and started counting invisible sheep. Maybe if she ignored it, it would leave her alone?

" _Sweet Caroline... I know you're awake...._ "

Or not.

Her grip on the blankets tightened as she heard the creature drop from its perch and make its way toward her. A gentle hum began to resonate in the room making her body involuntarily relax. Was this how it had lured away her classmates? Her friends? With a small soothing tune that covered up the creatures true intent? A flurry of thoughts filled her head as the entity drew near to her.

"... _What a bright little girl you are_..."

A shadow fell over her and she felt her breath catch in her throat. Was this the end? Opening her mouth to scream she inhaled deeply, but when she tried to yell it came out as nothing more than a tiny squeak. As if in response she heard a high pitched giggle next to where the blanket covered her ear. Gently, ever so gently, she felt the blanket she had tugged over her start to be pulled back.

"... _So afraid_...."

It's words bounced around in her head. Echoing.

"... _So scared_..."

Just as the blanket lifted over her face she raised her small hands and covered her eyes. She wouldn't look. _She wouldn't._

Silk covered hands wrapped around her wrists and pulled carefully, ignoring her wishes, completely set on shifting the small girl's hands just far enough anyway from her face that her expression could be seen. Another high pitched giggle filled the room. Whimpering as she felt hot breath hit her face, her eyes cracked open a tiny bit. 

Teeth.

All she could see was rows upon rows of teeth.

It was smiling at her.

"... _.Oh, what lovely eyes you have Caroline._..." 

Shakily she raised her hand and pressed it against the shoulder of the monster weakly trying to push it away. "Please... Please _leave_..." Her voice was small, barely above a whisper, but the monster heard and looked at her in curiosity.

"... _You still hold hope...? How interesting_...." It tilted it's head and stared at her. After a few beats of silence, she realized that it was waiting for her to continue.

"Please....a-anything.... just don't...d-don't..."

 _"_.... _Don't what?"_

"D-Don't eat me p-please!" 

Her voice cracked several times and she felt her head start to spin. Was she breathing? When was the last time she had let the chilled air of the room fill her lungs? She pushed harder against the old entity but it merely chuckled at her pathetic attempts of escaping.

_"...Anything you say? Anything at aaaall?"_

She swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded her head eagerly. Sweet naive hope began to bloom in her heart as the clown pulled away from her and perched itself on to one of the bedposts at the end of her bed. It stared at her.

"A-Anything."

It grinned at her and she felt tension start to build in her shoulders.

"... _.You will serve as bait to lure in my meals..... Yes....yes an honest girl like you can do no wrong... so trustworthy... You won't tell any of my meals to run.... you will simply ignore their fear and worries.... and if they start asking too many questions._....."

"... _.. **You will send them to me**._...."

The creature nodded to itself as if in thought before extending its silk glove toward her.

"... _.In exchange... You will live.... as will your legacy.... and those you care about._..." 

She looked at the hand of the creature hesitantly before beginning to raise hers. The promise of those she cared about in exchange for other innocent lives. Her mind couldn't comprehend it.

She didn't want to.

It watched her slowly come to a decision and a dark wide grin appeared on its face.

_"Do we have a deal, Care-bear?"_

Her palm gently touched the stained glove as she raised her gaze to look at the beast.

"Yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I convinced you that he is an asshole yet?
> 
> Cause he is.
> 
> Now and forevermore.


	5. All Good Things...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new Perspective brings about a new Understanding. . .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are highly encouraged!!!!!! It helps boost my fragile ego.

_It had returned._

She didn't how she knew. Just that she did.

When you had come to the diner with the kids in tow she knew something was wrong. Her mind raced to count how many years had gone by as she watched the downpour outside. She had grown soft, comfortable, in her old age. Easily forgetting about the monstrous secret she kept in her back pocket.

The disease that plagued Derry.

_Pennywise._

The very being that had ruined her life all those years ago.

While her mind became jumbled she took in your appearance. You looked ill. Genuinely sick and the fact that you had lied when she asked what was wrong was a big red flag that there was something out of norm bugging you. She knew what tended to get under your skin, and tried to get a feel for what was bothering you.

She hadn’t been shocked to see you flinch when she brought up the topic of marriage. The word always made your expression become grim, as if someone had died. However this time you seemed nervous, as if it wasn’t at the forefront of your worries. Narrowing her eyes she began to notice certain things she hadn’t caught before.

The dark bags under your eyes, the unnatural pale tone on your skin, and the fact that your gaze kept going in and out of focus. Without thinking she asked the question that had popped into her mind.

“Has your sleep improved?”

She saw the way you sagged slightly, as if in defeat and she knew that she had hit the nail on the head.

There was a secret that only you and her knew. It was something that even your parents didn’t know. A few years ago when you had worked at the diner you had broken down completely and told Carol something that made the old woman reevaluate how she saw you.

_You had nightmares._

* * *

You were curled into a fetal position on the couch in the break room when she found you. It looked like a storm had hit you based on your ragged appearance. Your grey uniform was wrinkled and there were dark spots around the collar from where tears had fallen down onto the patterned cotton. As she looked at your face she noticed the tangled mess of your hair and dark spots under your eyes. It dawned on her that you had never gone home after your shift yesterday.

The manager had put only you and her on the early morning shift today and Carol had come in even earlier to check to see if anyone had left a mess in the kitchen the night prior. She had expected to see leftover trash in the break room, not you in the midst of a panic attack.

It surprised her how shaken up you were.

She had never seen you so broken before. Mumbling apologies you looked at her with frightened eyes as you frantically wiped away your tears realizing you had been caught. Had she not reached out to you then you probably would have never said anything.

“Child, what happened to you?”

The pain in your eyes had made her think you had encountered something awful.

“I-I....god.... p-please....”

She held you in her arms quietly assuring you that it was okay and eventually you calmed down enough to speak.

“Carol... You have to promise you won’t say anything to anyone. It’s something crazy and i-impossible-“ Your voice had raised in pitch and begun to shake, bordering on hysteria.

“I won’t, your secret is safe with me.” The promise fell from her lips as easy as breathing. She hadn’t realized how attached to you she had gotten, how close the two of you had become. At first she had been hesitant to even be near you considering who your parents were, but you were just so pleasant to be around that the worry had slipped her mind. It was replaced by a calm and gentle familiarity that reminded her of her son.

_You were the daughter she never had._

Nervously you ran a hand through your hair as you looked around checking to make sure that nobody was even remotely near the two of you. Once satisfied with your findings you sat down and braced yourself.

“I have these.... these..... _dreams_.... Dreams that are vivid and beyond anything in this world..... and it feels so _real_...”

She could see the honesty and desperation in your eyes as you explained the dreams you had. There was a void you often visited in your sleep and you went into detail about the horrific encounters you had had with monsters there. As you continued you grew more comfortable and had begun to talk more freely. You spoke of how sometimes when you awoke you would have scratches and burns in places where the creatures had managed to hurt you.

Carol was skeptical at first until you said something that made her feel fear for the first time since _It_ had gone to sleep.

You were recounting a specific dream when your eyes suddenly widened slightly and a small smile made its way onto your face. The sudden shift in your expression threw her for a loop since the story so far had seemed painful to remember and was physically causing you distress.

“...This is the dream where I met Azael....”

“Azael?”

She watched your eyes light up as you went into depth about how you met Azael in your youth, and how he had protected you from the monsters in the void. The way you spoke of him was so familiar, as if she had heard that kind of talk before. The soft tone filled with mirth and eyes that held a special fire when it came to him and only him.

Then she realized something that sent a chill through her. You had never shown this type of adoration to anyone. She knew that people had tried, but ultimately anyone that ever got brave enough to inquire about you were rejected almost instantly. Not once had she ever thought to question _why_.

“Child...? Do you love him..?”

You looked down at the floor in thought before responding in a solemn tone.

“....It goes beyond that.”

After hearing those words it all began to click into place, you didn’t want to get married or to date because you didn’t want to. It was because you thought you had already found what you were looking for. You were in love with something that didn’t exist.

You were in love with a _lie_.

Or so she thought.

The amount of detail you described your dreams in was beginning to become suspicious, if not terrifying. The longer Carol listened, the more it had begun to seem less like a dream world and more like an actual place that she could clearly visualize. After what seemed like an eternity you stopped and complained about how dry your throat felt causing Carol to laugh lightly as she went to get you a glass of water from the sink in the break room.

When she had turned back toward you she almost screamed.

A black transparent existence was curled around your body. It twisted and wriggled under her gaze and she could only watch as it moved to cover more and more of your skin. The entity was wrapping itself around you as if it were trying to hide you from any gaze that wasn’t it’s own. Carol felt her stomach drop in horror when she noticed you couldn’t see the thing that was slowly encompassing you.

Realization dawned on her within seconds.

_This thing reminded her of **It**._

As if it noticing her panic, the entity vanished.

“Carol...? Are you okay? You got really pale all of a sudden...”

Gripping the edge of the break room counter she tried to erase the image of what she had just seen from her mind. Clearly, you had no idea of what monstrosity was hiding inside you and she wasn’t going to be the one to tell you.

Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

* * *

“Has your sleep improved?”

_Have you been having those nightmares again?_

“Yes.”

_Yes, they have returned._

“When did it start to improve?”

_When did they come back?_

“A few nights ago.”

_Last week._

The conversation was over quickly as she registered the pain showing on your face. The nightmares must have been worse than usual. Leaning down slightly she whispered to you and tried to cheer you up, guilt was eating at her for bringing up a sensitive subject. Eventually when she saw you relax she felt her own heart ease up on its thundering pace and something resembling peace filled her.

Until you started to talk again.

Carol knew you were easily stressed out, even if you had grown good at pretending you weren’t. She was accustomed to giving you reassurance and validation that you couldn’t receive from anyone else. It was a habit you seemed to have developed in your youth that had never truly gone away. The same childish paranoia you had when you were younger never disappeared and you always seek out someone you trusted to give their opinion, their judgment.

Your words made the calm recede and the panic return.

_It had seen you._

Carol felt ice spear through her body. _How could this happen?_ She hadn’t had the time to warn you. _You weren’t supposed to be found. No. **N o.**_

Feeling your hand on hers she snapped her head up and the plea left her before she could even think about what she was saying. She would be punished, seeing as you were probably one of the entities targets but she didn’t care.

_You were the daughter she had never had._

She needed to protect you.

But it was _too late_.

She watched in horror as you dug around in your purse and something began to materialize behind you. A black mist rose up from the floor and morphed itself before reaching out with claw-like appendages toward your head. Before Carol could interfere the creature snapped the claws into your head, pulling a pained shriek from your body.

A silent scream left her as her gaze flickered beyond the creature into one of the glass panes at the front of the diner. It was watching them. It had heard everything exchanged and would no doubt be furious. Too fast the anger surfaced, she couldn’t help the seething glare she sent toward the voyeur.

She didn’t deserve this.

_You_ didn’t deserve this.

The memory of what happened after this point was distorted. She could recall you collapsing and someone screaming. There was a pain, a harsh voice cutting through the air, and a threat. Liquid fire and solid ice had anchored her to the floor as the thing of her nightmares peered down at her with an ultimatum.

_You or Richie._

She could read between the lines of his question.

_Freedom or Safety._

She was tired of running. Old age was her home now, she had lost the opportunity to fight back against this old evil. Prior to you, she would have always chosen the latter without a second thought. Family was the most important thing to Carol. The bonds of blood were stronger than anything else in the world.

And _yet_ ….

She hesitated.

A sob racked her fragile body as the evil before her crouched down to her level. _Why was it making her choose?_ _Why? **Why?**_

A soft calming sensation filled her when she glanced back at you. Something foreign entered her mind with a gentleness akin to a child petting a baby bird for the first time.

_You would be okay._

Somehow she knew the voice wasn’t lying. There was something about it that she felt she could trust. It felt old….. Ancient. Low and deep with a tone that reminded her of how she spoke when she was telling someone that everything would work out in the end.

So she went with the unknown voice and spoke her choice in broken English, her body not yet calmed down enough to give an answer in an eloquent way. It hurt her to actually vocally make her choice, it felt like she was betraying you despite the voice's assurance. As if sensing her reluctance the clown grinned in response to her answer and she felt a moment of panic before the calming force from before washed over her again.

Desperately trying to pull herself together she didn’t notice Josie running toward the monstrosity that was slowly making its way toward you. Her words, however, pulled Carol out of her own mind and made the old woman’s eyes widen in a panic.

No longer did she see Josie in front of her, but instead herself from all those years ago. Teary-eyed and unaware of the consequences of making a deal with that monster.

Before she had even realized it, she was standing in front of Josie protectively while looking up into the eyes of the beast.

The thundering of her heart roared in her ears as she stood up to the creature that could kill her with minimal effort. The clown looked down at her with a brow raised before the side of its mouth pulled up into a smirk, as if there was an inside joke that only it knew. Her mind reeled in anger as she spoke.

“Not these two. Georgie and Josie aren’t your _food_.”

The words left her in a rage. Repressed hatred began to surface once more and soon the fear she felt was replaced by sheer unbridled fury. The clown seemed amused by the brave display and raised its hands in a mocking way, like a victim when threatened, before turning and lazily picking up the unconscious body on the floor.

_Theatrical Bastard._

The thought was blazing at the forefront of her mind as she held Josie in her arms and let Georgie hold on to her. If she couldn’t save you then she would at least save those you cared about. Her body shook slightly, unable to contain the powerful emotions she felt in that moment and the old entity turned to her one last time.

“Till next time…..”

It snickered as it walked out of the diner, with you slung over its shoulder uncaringly. Carol gritted her teeth as the annoyingly familiar high pitched voice echoed around her, seeming to bounce off the wall in a mocking manner.

“..... _Care-bear_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Azael. Hmmm. Important character? Yes.
> 
> Next chapter we will be returning to the Readers perspective and a scene I'm very excited about writing is coming up soon.
> 
> Also!!!! Trailer for Chapter 2 looks amazing.


	6. Pulling back the Curtain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader has a bad time™ and Josie monologues for the better part of this entire chapter jesus christ it got out of hand
> 
> Also some original story lore™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate you all for reading this so far!!! And I promise things will pick up soon, at the moment I'm fleshing out the characters I've created so it seems like the story has depth and all that important writer junk. Really I just wanna write something to fill the void that 'With Prey' left in me because damn that's one of the stories that got me inspired enough to get off my ass and write this Hot Mess™.

Something was wrong.

You awoke with a start and immediately felt a strong sensation of dread filling your stomach. Glancing around you saw that you were at home, more specifically the living room. The familiar faded brown cushions were underneath you and squeaked slightly from your sudden movements. Swallowing the rising panic in your throat you forced yourself to calm down and think. Then with a deep inhale, you blinked a few times trying to recall how to hell you got there.

Mentally backtracking you went over the details of what had happened earlier. Josie. Driving. Georgie. The Storm Drain. The Diner-

The Diner.

 _Fuck_.

The somewhat dulled panic came back stronger as the memory flooded your head. Shakily you sat up and immediately clutched your chest feeling a sharp throbbing sensation erupted within your rib cage. You were having a panic attack. This was absolute garbage timing. Fuck. Fuck you needed to chill, it was too dark you couldn’t see straight and it was too fucking quiet-

_Where’s Josie?_

The thought struck you like a slap to the face and you went rigid with your heart pounding almost painfully in your chest. Desperately you called out your sister's name in the darkness, but nobody answered.

Shit. _Shit._

You stood up ignoring your bodies cry to not move. Something was wrong. What happened. What had happened? Where the _fuck_ was Josie? Stumbling around blindly you eventually made your way into the kitchen where the landline was located. Your only want at that moment was to call Carol to ask just what the absolute fuck happened back there and to make sure Josie was safe. But just as you flicked on the light switch you instinctive grabbed onto the frame of the archway you just went through to get to the kitchen, suddenly feeling as if the floor wasn’t flat or stationery.

It felt like it was shifting underneath you.

“I’m- fuck. _Fuck_. What the hell is wrong with _me?”_

A wave of nausea hit your stomach like a train and you rushed to the trash-can near the oven to regurgitate the small meal you had eaten earlier. Reeling downwards you barely were able to catch yourself before you landed on the floor in pain. Shaking involuntarily you started crying. What was happening? What was happening to _you?_

You remembered the pain. So much pain.

Clutching the trash-can you sobbed. Oh god. Oh god, were you dying? You certainly felt like it. Part of you wanted to pass out. Make everything go away so you wouldn’t have to deal with it until the morning. Or whenever you woke up.

You must have gotten sick. A virus from working too hard and being around other sick people. Fuck, why did it feel like a lie? _Why?_ Why couldn’t you just believe that?

“Stop ...please….. p-please….”

Another wave hit you and you cried out in pain, scared and confused. Clinging to the black bin of garbage you whined like a child as the world spun. Everything hurt and everything was shitty and you _were so fucking scared_.

Then through the blurry tears, you saw it.

A red balloon.

It was hovering along the wall opposite of you. There wasn’t anything special about it, it was simply a red balloon with a long white string that lightly dragged along the floor.

But for some reason, it enraged you.

Maybe it was the fact that it seemed so at peace compared to the chaos raging through you. Perhaps it was the fact that it reminded you of the childhood you dearly missed. Or it could be the fact that it was simply there when it clearly was not supposed to be.

It was like a red flag.

And you, a wrathful bull.

Crawling over to one of the wooden drawers near the sink you pulled it open and desperately grabbed for the first thing you touched. The familiar smooth metal handle of a steak knife hit your palm and you tugged it out of the drawer hastily. One deep inhale later your eyes locked on to your target and you screamed while throwing the knife.

You narrowly missed.

You _shrieked_.

Your own hands pulled harshly on your hair, the anger and frustration overwhelming you. God, you couldn’t even hit a balloon, just how inept were you? Pathetic.

 _Pathetic_.

Time was meaningless to you at this moment and later you would look back and ask yourself why you had gotten so upset but for the time being, you just suffered and screamed at the top of your lungs.

You screamed and _screamed_ and **_screamed_**.

Till you couldn’t scream anymore.

* * *

_Plink! Plink! Plink!_

Josie watched the rain spatter against the window in Carol’s old sedan. The musk of rain permeated the car and a chill seemed to hover around the car’s inhabitants, despite the heat being turned on. Georgie sat next to her in the backseat, his hand shakily clasped around hers. The boy was still shaken up after the strange encounter that had occurred earlier. His fears were understandable, if not expected. He didn’t know better.

Josie did.

Her gaze narrowed out the window, thoughts raced through her young mind.

_I’m young, not stupid._

It had been her instinctive response to give the old waitress when told to stay away from the clown. She swallowed the words, however, and gave the polite _yes ma’am_ that her mother had taught her to do when speaking to elders. There was a slight jolt as the car hit a pothole and she heard a soft apology leave Carol’s mouth.

Josie swallowed her words again. Pushed them down into the abyss where all the other words and statements slept. She wouldn’t speak, she knew once she started she wouldn’t be able to stop. All the secrets and lies she told herself to keep pretending to be a child and have fun would surface and everything would come to a short bitter end. Speaking had disastrous consequences, she knew that better than anyone.

 _Azael was awake_.

The thought made her want to hurl, just the name itself was a painful reminder of a repressed memory she desperately wanted to forget. However, it refused her frantic cries and slowly breached into her mind once more. Her stomach lurched and the sick sensation from earlier in the day returned. Hastily she leaned back in her seat and inhaled sharply trying to push down the rising bile. Georgie looked at her concerned but she only smiled and winked at him, doing her best to non-verbally assure him that she was fine. That she was fine and _not_ fearing for her sister’s life.

Oh, Josie _knew_ things. She knew things she _wished_ she didn’t.

She could remember the night she foolishly asked a question that would open doors that _should always remain shut_. It had been a night like this one, with rain coming down hard enough that the flood warnings blared constantly, and she had been playing a game of checkers with you. She always played the red pieces (they reminded her of the small red velvet cookies that her mother always made when Christmas drew near) and you played black. You always let her go first and she would always giggle thinking that she was going to win just because of that.

You both played a few rounds while chit-chatting. It started off with small talk, little things. Like how school was, any new excitements in the small-town life, etc. Eventually, it began to turn more toward personal territory and a new-found curiosity plagued Josie like someone who had a serious illness.

_Why didn’t she just keep her mouth shut?_

“Sis, have you ever loved anyone?”

It was a simple yes or no question. For anyone else, it probably would have taken them less than a second to respond. It wouldn’t make them look down at the ground with their eyes unable to meet the other persons. It wouldn’t make them have to think whether or not it was safe to actually say yes or no. It wouldn’t bring them to tears.

It wouldn’t and it _should not have._

_Why couldn’t she have left it alone?_

“Sis? Did you love someone before? Did they hurt you?”

Your head had snapped up then, looking at Josie in a panic but unable to form the words to respond. After a moment you forced the words out, but you had struggled to do so. The words were shrill and desperate as they left your mouth.

“No! He would never hurt me!”

You had flinched at how loud your own voice was and Josie had tilted her head in confusion.

“He?”

**_Azael._ **

You had told her about a boy you had met in your dreams. How he was unlike anyone you had ever met prior and that there was a connection between the two of you that went beyond anything you felt in the waking world. It sounded like something straight out of the fairy tales that you would sometimes read to her when she slept over. The way your eyes lit up and your expression softened was something Josie didn’t see on you often. Whoever this person was, you loved them dearly. It sounded almost too good to be true.

_It was._

That night when she was all nestled up in the guest room, the white sheets and dark brown comforter piled around her form, something had pulled her from her deep sleep. She had blinked a few times in confusion, the pitter-patter of rainfall still being heard. Everything was still, calm, and quiet save for the low hum of the dim night-light next to the dresser that covered everything in a soft yellow-white.

 _Almost_ everything.

At the foot of the twin-sized bed she laid on stood a shadowy figure. Its shape seemed to churn and constantly twist, as if reality was trying to remove it from existence. She felt her fingers dig into the blankets and watched the shadow hover for a moment. It didn’t move, but it didn’t need to. Josie could hear it in her head, as clear as the sun would be on an afternoon in the middle of July.

 _Azael_.

This _thing_. It was _Azael_.

The high pitched scream left her and her heart thundered in her chest as a billion thoughts that weren’t her own surged through her. _Warnings. Threats. Horrific Promises._ It knew that she knew of it and was making it clear that she would not breathe a word of It’s existence to anyone else or she would lose more than just her peace of mind.

Just as Azael could see into her, she could see into It. Messy, damp, the stench of something dead filling Its head and stagnant water riddled with disease on every surface. There were crumbling structures, ideas and dreams that at one point were supposed to be grand and magnificent with colors and scents abound but now simply laid abandoned as if the creator had suddenly had an impulsive fit and destroyed that which he valued most.

Then in the middle of it all, in the center of the horrific disaster of swamp and the grotesque, was a human-sized birdcage. It was different than anything else in this barren swampland, it carried an aura of importance held higher than anything else in this godless place. It was golden, intricately and extremely detailed, as if every curved rod had been painstakingly carved to tell a story that nobody was supposed to hear. A story that would only be read and heard by the one who lived in the beautiful gilded cage.

The calm existence, seemingly unaffected by the decaying world that surrounded them. Their nose was not upturned, there was no disgust on their face, and there was not a glimmer of hatred in their eyes. They were content in their cage. In their prison.

Josie could see them now and it finally dawned on her.

It was _you_.

And you loved Azael because you didn't _know._

Josie felt herself get flung back into her own body, a harsh pained sound leaving her mouth. She saw too far, knew too much. A whirlwind of things a child should not know. If someone had told her that in exchange for her sanity she could forget what she had learned that night, she’d agree to it in a heartbeat.

_You loved a monster._

“Josie?”

There was a flash of light as the lightswitch to her room went on and the monster from before disappeared. Josie snapped her head toward the doorway feeling something resembling relief shoot through her. It was you, tired and sleepy, but it was _you_. She didn’t feel herself get up, let alone run, but suddenly she was clutching onto you sobbing into your shoulder. You had asked but was wrong but she hadn’t been able to answer.

She _couldn’t_.

Opposite of you she met the faceless shadow once more, it stood in the entranceway of your bedroom. It was watching.

It was then that Josie realized that she would take this secret to the grave. She would never be able to tell you the truth, never be able to warn you of the horrors to come, and never be able to save you from the slow painful death that the monster desired from you. She felt so helpless, so foolish, and so overwhelmingly _depressed_.

She couldn’t save you.

_She’d die if she tried._

* * *

Finally.

Finally, the pain had stopped.

Slowly, gradually, your rational sense returned. Your body began to unfreeze itself and you had laid on the floor counting your inhales and exhales. Four beats in, hold for four, and then out for four.

Repeat.

After awhile you then stood up, ignoring the red floating elephant in the room, and went over to the landline. Rotating the numbers a few times you held the phone up to your ear mentally prepping yourself for the conversation you were about to have.

After a few seconds of ringing on the other end, you heard the static of the phone being lifted up out of its holder and a familiar voice yawn on the other end.

“ _Hello?_ ”

“Hey Carol, it's me.” Your voice sounded lifeless, empty. Which probably made sense considering you spent the last hour screeching and crying non-stop, but you couldn’t help but cringe at how hollow it sounded.

“.....”

There was a soft gasp at the other end of the line and then a few beats of silence. For a moment you almost thought that she had hung up on you, too tired to deal with you. It was late and you were almost too tired to bother calling, but you knew you would stress over Josie until the day you died so sleeping wasn’t really an option. The only other option would have been to call your parents, and you would rather die than hear them lecture you about your lack of responsibility and other parental-lecture junk.

A reluctant voice came through the phone.

“.... _Are you okay?_ ”

“I think I’ve got a bug. I feel sick.” You paused and the words you were waiting to say at a time that was much more appropriate than this came blurting out. “Is Josie okay?”

This time she responded almost instantly.

“ _Yes, she is okay. She was worried about you, but it wasn’t anything extreme. Seeing someone faint isn’t common_ …” Carol trailed off and grew silent for a minute before continuing. “... _.I drove her and Georgie home_.”

Relief washed over you and you felt the tension in your body evaporate instantly at her words.

“Thank you, Carol. Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” You smiled feeling the familiar sense of normality come back at long last. “I mean driving them and _me_ home? That's a lot of driving for someone your age. I really do appreciate-”

“ _I didn’t drive you home_.”

There was something about the tone of her voice that set you on edge and you shifted on your feet slightly confused. “Uh…. you didn’t?”

“ _I didn’t_.”

“Then who did?”

There was another long pause at the other end of the line as Carol became distracted by two amber lights she hadn’t noticed before staring at her from the darkness of her living room. She had a metaphorical gun to her head and a literal monster waiting for her to respond. Her breath hitched, although you didn’t hear it through the receiver, and she felt the lie flow naturally through her lips just like it always had when it came to speaking about the monster.

“ _An old friend of mine is visiting Derry. Owed me a favor. I called him up and he used your car to bring you home, and then caught the bus on Jackson Street on his way back._ ”

You blinked and your expression became one of gratitude.

“What’s his name? Do I know him?”

“ _No._ ”

Her voice was dismissive as if she didn’t want to talk about him. It unnerved you until you realized it was probably just her exhaustion leaking into the conversation. Guilt began to seep into you at the thought of you bothering one of the few friends that you had. You just had one more question and then you would let her go.

“Carol, what did you mean when you said it wasn’t safe here?”

Only silence greeted you and you felt your own exhaustion start to creep up on you. On the other end of the line, Carol was holding the cord that connected to the receiver tightly, feeling pathetic. She didn’t want to lie but It was forcing her to.

“Carol? I-”

“ _It’s nothing, really. A few years ago there was a case of a girl being pulled down a storm drain by something…. I forgot that the perpetrator had been caught and panicked thinking he had returned._ ” She paused letting the words sink in. Hard amber met soft cerulean once more.

It grinned at her.

“That’s awful.” It made sense to you, Carol had been around a while and she probably had heard tons of horrible news. Yet she remembered them all the same and watched over you like this. Derry was small but had its own dangers just like every other place in the world.

“ _I know. Child, promise me-_ ” There was a low growl from the direction of the creature but Carol ignored it the best she could. “ _-promise me that you will be safe and take care of yourself okay?_ ”

She sounded desperate but you just pushed it off, assuming she was just excited to finally hang up and go rest. The thought made you smile a tiny bit, already imagining the older woman hanging up the phone to go read some interesting pulp fiction in the comfort of her bed.

“I promise, Carol.”

The line cut and you sighed. All was well for the most part. Hanging the phone back in its holder you turned around to deal with the balloon.

Except it was gone.

On the counter nearest to where it had been was a yellow sticky note, you recognized it had been taken from the notepad on the dishwasher. There was something written in red on it, somebody quietly had written something while your back was turned. You had to have been hallucinating, there was no way in hell that it was real. Unease began to fill you as you walked over. This felt like a prank. A really _shitty_ prank.

Next to the note was the steak knife you had thrown and a slim red pen with I **❤** DERRY stamped on the side of it. Against your better judgment, you looked down at the small yellow square and immediately wished you hadn’t.

_IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, TRY, TRY AGAIN!_

And at the corner of the note under the words as a small drawing of a knife being thrown at a balloon. You felt your eyes widen and sheer terror flood your body, ice racing through your veins. Taking a step back you felt your world spiral for a second time that day, that same familiar darkness seeping into your mind without your permission.

The last thing you saw were two bright yellow eyes looking down at you in hunger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, Reader. You poor poor thing. Maybe something good will happen to you eventually.
> 
> Or not.
> 
> 𝘈𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘧𝘶𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦.


	7. Depth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pennywise point of view: includes angry clown  
> Reader has an interesting.... 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read the entire IT novel in a week, main reason for this chapter's delay! Also, I struggled to figure out the exact direction that I wanted to go in for this chapter so if It seems a bit more choppy than usual, that is why. Also!!!! Thank you all for the support I appreciate all the encouragement!!

He had been interrupted.

_Again._

He stood in your living room for the amount of time it took you to wake up, eagerly awaiting the meal he had so delicately put together. Killing instinct at the ready he hid in the shadows, waiting for you to rise. However, despite his planning, he didn’t account for the thorn in his side to return so quickly.

As you woke up, so did _It_.

He watched you rise from the couch already on the alert and he seethed in anger as the familiar dark shadow faded into existence, trailing behind you.

As he watched you, It watched him.

He had tried to rush it by to get to you but It had already noticed him and quickly took advantage of your fragile state of mind. A part of Its body elongated and stretched before curving upwards. Then without the slightest bit of concern, it jammed the sharp transparent appendage through your stomach, causing you to suddenly bend over clutching your abdomen. Then with a sharp twist It sent you running for the garbage can.

It clung you as if it were a piece of clothing and pressed inward into your body, making you to fall to the floor. Your fear began to permeate the air in the kitchen and the old entity felt his composure flicker for a moment before settling.

 _You_.

Why was it only targeting _you?_

The clown watched in mild interest as your eyes finally landed on the balloon he had placed earlier. He saw you freeze up and look at the floating red almost entranced. He waited for the crescendo of fear to finally peak and for the creature behind you to harvest his hard work once more.

Except it never did.

He watched your eyes, and saw the fear fade into something a tad more destructive. Your body was still weak and the shadow clung to you mercilessly while watching him. The clown saw you scramble over to one of the wooden drawers and blindly shove your hand inside searching around for something.

_A knife._

With a shout, you threw the sharp object and he snickered as he saw the blade miss the balloon. However, the sudden screech in response to the knife clanging to the floor caught his attention. He watched you begin to cross the bridge into insanity with careful consideration.

Watching you like this was somewhat entertaining and he found himself rethinking how he wanted to kill you. Sure, he couldn’t see into your mind, but he was creative.

_He’d find a way._

Time ticked by and he watched you recover in silence. The shadow still stuck to you like glue and the clown narrowed his gaze in agitation. He’d rip the shadows' existence to shreds if he could. The fact that it was still there twisting into you was a deep offense that the old entity could not forgive.

Eventually, you stood up and made your way over to the landline, and while you dialed a number into the rotary he sidestepped in the kitchen, listening in while making alterations to his ideas. With a wave of his hand, the balloon was gone, and a red pen laid in his palm instead.

Quickly he wrote something out on a pad of sticky notes that laid on top of the dishwasher adjacent to you before picking up the discarded knife and setting it gently next to the note and pen. As he had maneuvered around he kept a close eye on both you and a certain old Tozier.

With the grace of something inhuman he expertly hovered close to you without being discovered as you ended the call and turned to address what you thought was the balloon. The result of his alteration was a resounding success, he could feel the sense of unease filling the air and see your body immediately stiffen in fear. The shadow seemed to waver, almost in a panicked way, and he knew that he had won. A shudder rushed from him and he uncaringly slammed past the shadow that kept your body from him.

Finally. Finally, he would _feed_.

He lunged at you with claws and sharp teeth prepared to rip apart your flesh and feast on your body. This was his _chance_ -

 _It bit into him_.

The shadow bit _into him_.

Not into his earthly avatar, but him. The _real_ him.

It had bit into the _Deadlights_.

With a roar, he felt your body fall back against his and he caught the barest glimmer of consciousness in your eyes before blacking out moments later. Fury speared through him and he could no longer hold back.

Just as It bit into him, _he bit into It_.

* * *

You awoke.

In the beginning, there was nothing and only over time did you begin to recover the fragments of yourself.

First came your sense of taste. The tang of saltwater rested in your mouth as time passed, growing stronger and more potent as your body began to awaken. Then there was the sharp flavor of something bitter, coppery. The sea tasted of blood and iron. It reminded you of the times you had gotten hurt.

Then came the sense of smell. An ocean breeze permeated the air, it sent a wave of nostalgia through you with memories of the beach, of the shimmering waters and the heat of the sun. The happy times spent in your youth under the bright blue sky. The sense of being free and wildly running along the golden shores of summer joy.

You regained your sense of feeling and touch. Gentle waves of liquid surrounded your body while soft waters rocked you gently along the flow of the current. There was no panic as you felt your body get pulled along. Dragging your hand through the rippling waters gave you a certain satisfaction that you hadn’t felt before.

So many stars. You could see now. High above you, there were millions of lights shining within the sky. There were other massive beings flying amongst the stars, there were twelve of them in total, they were all animals of different shape and color. They were mesmerizing and you felt overcome with joy at the sight of them.

The waters around you shifted slightly and your gaze flickered downward. You were surrounded by an ocean of black, a sea of darkness, floating gently on the surface of it all. There were things deep below you, living things, and you knew they could see you. They hungered for you. Those familiar creatures of pain and fear.

Sounds began to gradually fill your ears. The gentle lapping of the waves over your still body, your breaths as you inhaled and exhaled, and the dull thud of your heart pumping life into your body. After a moment the other noises of the void began to manifest. The sound of a clock tower, the roaring of worlds soaring by, the existences beneath you speaking in low dark tones of an even darker lost language.

The monsters of the void.

_Todash._

The word appeared in your mind without reason and before you could try to comprehend it a shrill panicked voice cut through your peace and forced your attention to the one place you had not yet looked.

The shoreline.

 _The border_.

There you saw them. Two lives stood before the crashing and receding waters of the void. You recognized the one who called out, it had been Josie. But now that you looked at her, she seemed different. Her appearance was one of a woman rather than of the child you knew. Her expression was one of desperate fear.

“Sis! You need to swim to shore! You’re in danger!”

The words went in one ear and out the other. You were more distracted by her companion. He was unfamiliar. His body stood tall, firm in his stance near your sister. Bright determined eyes gazed into you and you felt power radiate from him. The breeze had ruffled his brown hair and clothes but he was unfazed, his eyes never wavered from yours and you felt a righteous energy come off him.

 _Gunslinger_.

The word pushed itself to the forefront of your mind and you found yourself immersed by the prospect of the new stranger. You watched him stop Josie from entering the black waters and then turn back to you as if he was just as mystified with you as you were with him. Slowly you shifted, shaking off the hold of what felt like a deep sleep.

But before you could get far something from the depths wrapped around your ankle. A hand. Gently they tugged you downward and you took one last look at the visitors on the shore. Simple curiosity requested you see one final time.

The stranger's gaze had hardened and he held Josie at bay. She held none of the calm that he had and when she saw something begin to drag you under, she tried to jump into the waves of the void. You saw them for a few seconds longer before you succumbed to the pull of the entity.

A warm humanoid body pressed against yours and you felt them run a hand down your back before embracing you gently. Opening your eyes reluctantly you saw dark red hair flow in the waters around your face and familiar blue loving eyes looking down into your own. Any panic that you may have felt suddenly ceased as you let the entity drag you into the deep abyss of the void.

_Azael._

Kind but firm hands guided your body and you felt your heart swell with love. He shifted you in the water and a smile was brought to your face as his body reflected yours in a mirrored way. Then ever so softly he began to move while you followed him. Your body glided through the water as you began to waltz across the void of space. Drifting across the endless floor of the black ocean you felt the sensation of childish love fill your heart.

Nothing to worry about.

Nothing to fear.

Nothing to _remember_.

Your mind slowly but surely became filled with nothing but the man who was in front of you right now. Persuasive suggestions filled your head and you quietly laughed feeling him pull you into a kiss. Barely you had noticed the princely attire he wore and even less did you notice how he had changed your own appearance to match his. You were his as he was yours.

You felt him twirl you and for the briefest second his touch was gone. Normally he would resume and you both would pick up where you left off, but this time his raised hand fell to his side and his eyes were looking at something behind you. Anger filled his features and for the first time in years, you felt fear fill you at the sight of him.

You felt something wrap around you and panic drummed within your body. Silently screaming you reached out toward Azael and he in turn leaped from where he stood with his arms extended. He’d save you. Everything would be okay.

_Everything would be okay._

There was a flash of green light and you felt the thing that had latched on you instantly let go, making you sigh a breath of relief. But in the very same breath, you watched as Azael recoiled in pain from the light as well. Your eyes widened as you saw a woman manifest from the light. She was ethereal, something beyond human comprehension. Long brown hair floated down past her waist fanning out around her and you felt yourself begin to shake just from looking at her. Hastily she maneuvered around you and placed a soft hand over your eyes. There was a gentle tugging sensation in the back of your mind and the woman held you close while whispering quietly.

“ _Be wary of sweet lies, my child. This is only the beginning._ ”

You awoke in a gilded gold cage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dropping heavy original loreeee (I've fallen into the Steven King Extended Universe and I can't get up)
> 
> Excited to write out the next part!!
> 
> Azael is excited too ;)


	8. The Spider and The Leech

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azael and Pennywise have a friendly discussion. Sorta.
> 
> The mystery continues to unfold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God writing this was a wild ride, hope y'all enjoy.
> 
> Also thanks for all the encouragement, it feeds my creative brain to write more!!!!

Old Derry.

It was Old Derry from horizon to horizon.

The old entity stood a few steps from where he had awakened. He was in the barrens, near one of the trails that led to where a traveling circus had been set up. Cautiously he leaned down and touched the wildflowers growing by the side of the dirt pathway. Vibrant colors of yellow, pink, and reds painted the petals a lively hue. They seemed real. Too real.

He didn’t like this one bit.

In the distance, he could hear the sounds of the carnival. Amongst the loud excited screams of children and the jaunty music blaring he could hear something strange. Something that did not and was not supposed to be anywhere _remotely_ near Derry.

The low-hum of the Void.

The dirt crunched under his boots as he made his way toward the colorful tents, his sole intent being to end this strange dream as soon as possible. The amount of detail everything had almost concerned him. _Almost._ He was a being of absolute power with no equals, this was simply trickery from that foul shadow creature. All of this was an illusion. Of course, the old clown used illusions too but he used them _correctly_. They were simply a tool to be used when necessary, so to use it for something so nonsensical as recreating Old Derry was absurd.

While walking through the maze of tents, the scents and sights of the circus flooded his senses. The fragrance of cotton candy and popcorn aplenty, with peanuts and funnel cakes lurking right behind. There were old fashioned stands and vendors at every corner, eagerly awaiting those who wanted a souvenir or food for low or high prices. Dozens of townsfolk were milling around with their families, eager to see the sites of the traveling show. Petals of laughter filled the air as if all was right in the world and the old clown’s eye twitched. _Did the orchestrator behind this think him a fool?_ They must if they thought something like this would enrapture him.

Were he not what he was, then perhaps this pathetic world could have drawn him in. But alas, he was not simple prey. All too easily did he see through the guise that had been laid before him. He could sense the stench of magic in the air, on the food, in the eyes of those he passed. Warm, welcome, gentle, and kind. Like he to Georgie, they were to him. Narrowing his eyes he scanned the area around him, discovering quickly that he didn’t know where he was.

Before annoyance could surface he found himself distracted by a family of two slowly making their way toward one of the circus entertainers. It was a mother with her daughter. The former was dressed modestly from head to toe in formal garb, dark brown locks of hair hanging loosely down past her waist with Anastasia Spider Mums woven into it. Stepping closer to her the old entity found himself… feeling _strange_.

_She wasn’t like the others._

A safe distance away he watched her and her daughter speak with the entertainer. It was a wise woman, the daughter wanted a tarot card reading. He wanted to laugh, to ask about the future was futile. Time was a fabric that folded in on itself, that stitched _through_ itself. To try to grasp the future would be to grasp at the very air around you. Pointless and stupid. The devourer continued to think to itself as he watched. The mother had unfocused green eyes, and he reflected on whether or not she was apart of the illusion.

The daughter had the same dark brown hair, but she only had one spider mum laced in hers. She wore a delicate dress with a white design stitched up the side. Her eyes were sharp, unlike her mother’s and she looked at the Psychic expectantly. While watching the deck of cards be shuffled, cut, and laid across the table he noticed something. There was a symbol on top of each card, and it instantly had him on edge. He recognized it, and what it stood for.

“Pick three cards, miss.”

The child closed her eyes and blindly tapped along the cards three times. The Psychic grabbed the chosen three and pulled them to her side of the table to flip them over and to explain the meaning of each of them.

_The laws of the universe are set in stone, none can break them, not without consequence._

**The Star.**

The psychic flipped and tapped the first card, which had a star illustration on it. “This card represents your past, little one. The star, in fact, is one of the Major Arcana in tarot. It symbolizes creation, rebirth, a new beginning of sorts…” The old woman caught the mother’s gaze and tilted her head in confusion. “Is something wrong, Miss?”

“No… please continue.”

The words were hollow, the color and tone missing from her speech. Once more the clown saw those vacant green eyes and the feeling of nostalgia ripped through him. He knew her. Somehow. _Was she a victim of his exploits? Had he killed her at some point…? No… no no that can’t be right…._

The Psychic continued and flipped the next card.

**Death.**

Hesitantly the wise woman spoke to the child. “Now young one please do not be alarmed, while this card is labeled Death it doesn’t necessarily mean that in the literal sense.” Gently she shifted it over to the daughter’s side of the table and the clown could see the face of the card. There was a cloaked figure in the center with a scythe held over its shoulders.

“This represents the current you. The major arcana of Death is known for change. It could be for good or for bad, it may even-“

The woman abruptly stopped as the mother took the card into her own hands. A brief moment of wakefulness crossed her face before vanishing as if it was never there in the first place. However, that quick glimmer was enough for the old clown to realize that she was not a part of the illusion. His mind raced and an arrogant smile graced his painted face. He’d use her to escape this dream.

Just then the mother set the card back down and seemed to almost sway on her feet. The air around her seemed to become unsteady causing some of the mums to loosen and fall out of her hair. As they fell the clown noticed that the moment the petals no longer touched her they quickly wilted and decayed before cracking and dissolving into dust.

“Finish the reading, please. The future remains.”

The Psychic flipped the remaining the card and upon seeing what it was immediately flipped it back down before looking to the child. Her expression was one of fear and panic.

“Listen, child, perhaps today was just not with the stars-”

_The laws of the universe are set in stone,_

“Everything will be fine, I’m sure of it! The cards can be wrong, and your future is yours to control-”

_None can break them,_

“So please just forget about today, I’ll even refund you for this and give you a new reading tomorrow-”

_Not without consequence._

Like a thunderclap in still silence, a sudden change was felt throughout the tents. The expression of parents and adults became one of unease as the cloudy sky grew dark with the threat of rain. It was too fast under normal circumstances and this... _this_ was done on purpose. He had lingered too long and had caught unwanted attention. A low growl left his throat as the stench of magic became abruptly stronger.

“Again I’m very sorry for-”

♫ _Hey look! When you listen carefully_ ♫

The wise woman was interrupted by a soothing tune beginning to snake its way through the fairgrounds. It was a light melody that only caught the attention of the children in the vicinity. The old clown felt his ears twitch, the noise was laced with magic.

♫ _It's such a sweet melody_ ♫

Children began to stray from their parents in a strange fashion. As they walked away they all swayed on their feet to the rhythm of the music, some even began to sing along. The only child that didn’t move was the one with the spider mum in her hair. And she….. she looked _terrified_.

♫ _Knock on the door of sleep_ ♫

Parents began to notice the children disappearing as the rain started to fall down. Within moments the circus was in a panic. Someone shoved past temporarily blocking his view from the Psychics tent, and just as he could see again he felt anger roll through him.

The tent was _empty._

♫ _Jump up, wake up, and hurry up_ ♫

The melody continued to play even without any children to lure and the clown grit his teeth in annoyance. Slowly he made his way toward the noise, purposely slamming into anyone that was in his way. To say he was pissed would be an understatement.

♫ _We'll ride a boat to the land of candy!_ ♫

With a short humorless laugh, he realized where the music was coming from.

The big red and white striped tent for the main events.

_The Big Top Tent._

He made his way inside the tent and inhaled sharply. The stands were filled to the brim with hundreds of children, all singing along to the music. Kids of all ages eagerly swayed and looked at the raised center stage platform in excitement. His gaze followed theirs to the center of the tent and he felt his hunger return.

_You._

Surrounded by plush pillows, blankets, and trinkets you slept soundly. You wore a long white gown, intricate and magnificent in its design. The longer he looked more he noticed things. There was a white veil over your head, and he couldn’t see the end of the dress from where he stood. There were a floating needle and thread stitching the dress in mid-air. It moved as if it had a mind of its own and his eyes narrowed. After a while, a wave of magic washed over him and he felt disgust rise within him in response.

Sitting atop of a circus prop nearby was the source of his current problem.

The musician had long dark red hair that was tied back elegantly, and he wore attire reminiscent to what princes wore in the renaissance. His eyes were closed in a relaxed but focused way as he played the song. In his hands was a strange instrument, it was long and thin much like a flute but was played vertically instead of horizontally and near the end the metal spiraled outwardly. Watching the musician play the clown’s gaze narrowed.

It was much, _much_ thinner than any flute he’d seen.

As he drew closer to you and the musician the song began to crescendo higher and higher. The children grew more and more riled with every step he took toward the center stage. He could see you more clearly now, your body was fast asleep on the makeshift bed of fancy pillows and priceless treasures. He found himself wanting to scoff but before he could the music cut off abruptly just as he stepped on to the platform. The children in the stands quickly collapsed as the music stopped.

His gaze snapped the musician’s and found that he was already staring at him.

There was a beat of silence between the two of them as the man set the instrument down before addressing the clown in front of him.

“Hello, Pennywise.”

The tone was calm, neutral. The musician did not bother to extend a hand in greeting and watched the clown with careful eyes, much like one would do with a feral dog.

“We seem to have gotten off on the foot, I’d like to remedy that.” With the snap of the musician's fingers, several children came down from the stands and made their way over to the old entity. Their eyes were dull pools of color, as if they were puppets rather than human beings. The clown's gaze flickered from the children back to the man before he grabbed the wrist of the kid closest to him.

The wails and screams of the child were muted before they even began as the devourer consumed them. Their fear was not bad, but it didn’t curb the hunger in the way it should have. The clown met the gaze of the musician once more, noting that he wasn’t fazed by his cruelty in the slightest. Pennywise found himself annoyed by this simple fact.

“Speak, _vermin_.”

The musician’s eye twitched at the clown’s insult and stood up from the stage prop gracefully. His body was lean, taut with muscle and the outfit fit well enough to show off the fine physique the young man had. There was a flicker of emotion in the man’s expression before it settled and his eyes narrowed at the old entity.

“My name is _Azael_. You would do well to remember that.” The man clicked his tongue before sweeping his arm out to the side in a grand gesture. “Allow me to welcome you to my dominion, I haven’t had a guest like yourself in a very long time.”

The musician, Azael, was quite theatrical it would seem. He moved with the grace and demeanor of one believing they were royalty. The clown resumed eating while the princely character strode across the platforms in a storytelling manner waiting for the devourer to speak. While chewing the flesh and bone of one of the smaller children the old entity spoke with his mouth full.

“You. What are you? A warlock? Some pest that the turtle sent?”

Azael shook his head and tipped his head back slightly, arrogance beginning to fill his features.

“No, I am not a mere warlock or dark mage, I am a _god_. I am just like you, a _dev_ -”

“ **No**. I know the stench of my own kind. You aren’t one of _us_.”

Azael’s face contorted downward in the brief second he lost his composure but quickly, almost instantaneously in fact, reverted back to normal as if it didn’t happen. A forced smile then appeared on his face as one of his fingers brushed smoothly through a stray lock of red hair.

“You’re right. I’m not like you. _I’m better_.”

A low growl left the old entity at the musician’s words.

“Watch your words, _brat_.”

Azael looked almost pleased with how riled the devourer got with just a few words. He wanted to push buttons, he wanted to anger the clown who had angered him.

“What’s wrong, did I hit a nerve _Gramps?”_

It was then that the old entity noticed. Deep in the magic that swirled around Azael he could sense it. The musician wasn’t like him, at least not in terms of scent, but there was one striking similarity hidden in him that made the clown’s gaze flicker red.

The brat had his own set of _Deadlights_.

Azael smile turned into a smirk upon seeing the moment of realization dawn on the old entities face. The number of possibilities and revelations this had were concerning, although the clown would never say that aloud. He feared nothing. He was a god.

“How long?”

Azael raised a brow and tilted his head at the question.

“Hm?”

“ _How long have you been in Derry?”_ The clown spat the words out at the man.

Azael chuckled before answering. “I believe I fell into _Derry_ a few hundred years after you, and my sleep cycles never lined up with yours so we never met…..” The musician’s eyes found and lingered your body as he trailed off. With eyes glinting in restrained hunger he licked his lips before looking back at the old clown. “.....until now.”

The old entity looked at you before narrowing his eyes at Azael.

“Why haven’t you eaten her yet?”

Azael smiled at your sleeping form in an almost loving way in response to the old entity's question. The soft sound of your inhales and exhales were the only white noise that filled the silence when neither of them were speaking. Tilting his head Azael watched the needle stitch up the side of your dress.

“ _Why?_ Because she is a fine wine that only becomes sweeter over time. In all my time on earth, I don’t think I’ve ever run into someone with the same lovely taste her soul has....” As if the mere thought of eating her was a battle already lost, Azael looked at the old clown with hazy eyes as a particular memory floated back into his mind. “Something runs within her spirit….. Something far stronger than anything I thought I knew….. Even after years of feeding it never grows dull or-”

“Years?”

Azael mumbled something and shook his head, clearly he hadn’t intended to state the last bit.

“Indeed. Her essence is…. _powerful_. It wards off the lure of sleep easily and sates the unending hunger we have. ” Azael looked at the clown in thought before continuing to speak. “....before you get any dumb ideas you should take into consideration the fact that she is _my_ prey.”

“You must have a death wish, _worm_. If I wish to eat her then I shall. _You are nothing compared to me_.” The clown began to walk toward the man with killing intent before Azael playfully managed to cut into the older devourer’s ego.

_“You’d die if you tried.”_

The old entity snarled at the musician. _“What?”_

_“Just a drop of her blood would kill you. Only I am able to handle her.”_

Fury welled up within the older entity and he prepared to lunge at the man before an idea crossed his mind. A cold smile appeared on the clown’s painted face as he leaned down toward the younger devourer. “Oh, and you are sure of that…?”

Azael blinked surprised and then frowned annoyed clearly having not expected this result. With a wave of his hand the needle and thread halted before flying into his palm. He sauntered over to your sleeping body and with the finesse of something inhuman pricked your finger cleanly and quickly before bandaging it with the leftover fabric on one of the pillows.

Hesitantly he made is way back toward the clown and extended the sewing needle out toward him. “Go for it, at least if you’re dead I won’t have to deal with you anymore.” The acting was on point, to the extent that the clown would have believed him and wouldn’t have gone through with it if he hadn’t noticed the brief waver in the brats eyes. There was uncertainty in the blue depths.

Uncaringly he tossed the needle in his mouth and smirked at Azael.

Then it hit him.

_Ecstasy._

He fell to his knees almost instantly and spat the needle from his mouth as his body convulsed. Everything felt heightened and an extremely pleasurable pain shot though him so fast he couldn’t stop the groan that left his mouth. Azael looked at him in shock before beginning to laugh wildly.

“Oh my god, you are even more of a fool than I thought!” The relief was blatantly expressed on his face as he looked down at the clown. “You reckless old fool! You had me worried for a moment! But I was right! I’m always right!”

The clown felt a surge of power flood through him and he felt his very lights dim from it, threatening to be snuffed out. It grew stronger and stronger threatening to overwhelm him, to consume the consuming monster that he was. Above him he could hear the brat cackling, excitedly waiting to dance on his corpse. Despite the pain coursing through his body, the old entity felt new strength begin to swell within him and with that new strength came a craving. It was like a drug, a hunger for something specific. For so long he had roamed and ate without thinking, thinking only fear could put a dent in his unending hunger. But this, this was beyond anything he had ever encountered.

In an instant, the impossible hunger was sated and was replaced by a want.

_A need._

_He needed more._

_He needed more of y o u._

Azael stopped laughing the moment the clown's body grew still. “Finally succumbed? _Good_. You wasted enough of my time alre-” By the time the musician had felt the clawed appendage wrap itself around his ankle it was too late. He had been standing one moment and in the next, he was slammed into one of the concrete stands with such a force that made his vision darken.

Pennywise stood slowly and dusted himself off before making his way toward your sleeping form. Power, such raw power, just laying there for him to _consume_.

Yet, just as he reached the bed of pillows and treasures, something halted him. Reaching one clawed hand up he pushed against the invisible barrier and snarled when it didn’t break. So he hit it. It didn’t break. He hit it again. _It didn’t break_. He hit it once more. **_It didn’t break_**. Growling he gazed down at you like a man driven mad with hunger. _Madness. What was real and what wasn’t._ Suddenly, much like when a magician reveals how a trick works, the clown understood. He gripped the barrier and _pulled_.

Azael screamed.

The carnival, no, _all_ of Derry fell away like someone pulling back the curtains on a window. Gone was the scent of sugar and sweets, and instead, the air was filled to brim with the stench of rot and decay. Everything but the golden cage in front of him was submerged in the murky swamp waters. The sky was pitch black and there were no stars shining high above. There was nothing in this wasteland worth paying attention to other than what was in front of him.

_You._

**“Get the fuck away from her!”**

In the back of the clown’s mind he heard the furious shout of the younger devourer, but he was currently distracted by the good fortune that had just been bestowed upon him.

_You were waking up._

He didn’t even realize that his eyes had turned blue as he started beckoning to you, inciting you. Keeping the new hunger at bay was difficult, he could barely control himself enough to retract the claws that desperately wanted to sink into your flesh. Everything was too much and yet he needed _more_.

Slowly you blinked and your unfocused eyes settled on him. All you saw was the familiar loving blue. You saw the lie he desperately wanted you to believe, and when you slowly began to move toward him he felt as if his existence was slowly becoming undone. That everything he was was slowly slipping way in the most pleasant way possible. And finally, after what seemed like years to him, you gently laid your hand in his.

Your touch was electric, it set him aflame. It did things to him that he couldn't even begin to fathom. Yanking you toward himself he pressed his face into your neck and inhaled deeply, once, twice, before opening his mouth wide and biting down _hard_.

It was too much. He was sure this time that you were going to kill him. The things he felt, the sensations, the emotions, it all felt just as unending as hunger. Memories, lights, movements, it all blinded him at once. So many things he didn’t understand and didn’t want to understand were suddenly burned into his eyes as he drank from you. You were like fire.

_You were burning him from the inside out._

He felt his body get thrown backward and his gaze was now on a massive worm-like creature that had wrapped itself around your cage. It was as black as the sky and as disgusting as the water that he got thrown into. The growl that left his throat this time didn’t sound human, and to his shock, he found that his form had twisted from the clown into a familiar eight-legged arachnid.

Unsteadily he got back up and hissed at the leech-like creature before moving full speed at the cage. In response, the leech reared back with its mouth open and thousands of teeth jutting outward while spiraling in a circular pattern. Blood coated the scent of rot and both monsters lunged at each other out of anger and bloodlust.

But it ended before it could even start.

There was a brilliant flash of green light that shined from within the confines of the cage that burned the eyes of the creatures causing them to fall back. The old entity could only hear Azael shriek once in frustration before he was suddenly thrown back into his own body. His real one that was collapsed on your kitchen floor.

It took him a moment for his body to catch up with his brain and he felt his body shake. _What had he just seen? Beyond the cage? Beyond the light?_ Blinking rapidly he briefly looked down at your sleeping body and shrank back slightly. _What were you…?_

He needed to revaluate. There was…. too much for him to think about. This event was unprecedented _certainly_ , but it wasn’t unwelcome in the slightest. There were plenty of questions to be asked and many answers to be given. But more importantly, he knew who to target now before he had to rest. He was a god. None could go against him.

After repeating those final thoughts a few more times he began to feel more like himself. _That's right. He was older than time itself, some half-pint brat couldn’t compete with him._ A small giggle left him as his mind settled and that familiar arrogance returned. He looked over your form one last time before turning on his heel and vanishing into the air not noticing anything out of the ordinary.

_Oh, how he will regret._

If only he had noticed her then, then perhaps things would have gone differently. But the fact remains that he did not see her looking at him in the darkness. With a spider mum in one hand and the final tarot card in the other.

**The Tower.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pennywise and Azael are arguing over you like your the last chicken nugget in a happy meal. Somehow this will evolve into a proper love triangle but you knowww itsss a slowwww burnnnnnn ficccc
> 
> So slow of a burn that the oven isn't even on yet lolololol
> 
> Side Note: The song that Azael is playing is Poupelin's Flute (Three O'Clock Fairy). Also, I had to look up how Tarot works, I'm educating myself y'all.


	9. A Plea For Normality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a Normal Day for our Beloved Reader :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up! Date!
> 
> This is a long one better strap in fam.

“So a dream clown bit you and it felt good? That’s kinky.”

You choked on your milkshake at the vulgar words and felt some of the strawberry flavored liquid go up your nose.

“Jesus Christ, Lucia!? It wasn’t like _that!”_

Lucia Bowie. Older sister of Greta Bowie and daughter of Johnathan and Carla Bowie. She lived with her family on the high end of the West Broadway where the wealthiest of the wealthiest lived in Derry. Like most girls on West Broadway, she had all of the current designer brand clothing and expensive accessories casually worn on her body as if they didn't cost hundreds of dollars and were rather just something you’d pick up from a thrift store. Not to mention the constant upkeep she got done on her hair every month, right now her golden locks of hair were curled and parted in a way that framed her face neatly.

Lucia giggled from across the table at your reaction and you rolled your eyes. The difference in upbringing made the conversations between the two of you always interesting. But it also made you extremely aware of things that could never be, no matter how hard you tried. Money would never be an issue for the rich girl sitting across from you. She was, for all intents and purposes, set for the rest of her life and she wouldn’t ever have to work a day in her life to get the things she wanted like you did. Her parents had so many investments in future and current building projects that it made your head spin whenever Lucia tried to talk about their latest financing exploit. 

You had met her during the summer before the start of your junior year in high school under the weirdest circumstances. It had been a day just like yesterday where rain poured down without end and Lucia had blindly stumbled into you, she had forgotten an umbrella at home and had hastily run in the direction she thought would bring her to West Broadway before skidding on a puddle and slamming into you, which caused the both of you to stumble and fall down onto the concrete sidewalk. Somehow on your way down your umbrella had gotten jammed the sidewalk and shielded both of your heads from the rain as you tried to understand what had just happened. 

When you had opened your eyes you couldn’t stop the soft gasp from leaving your mouth. Never before had someone's face been so close to yours. If you had leaned forward even slightly you were sure that you would have kissed her. Teal blue eyes had stared into yours as the rain continued to fall and for a split second, you weren’t there. You weren’t on the sidewalk, you weren’t on the street, you weren’t even in _Derry_. In that moment you were floating in the cosmos with an existence that understood you as you understood them.

But it all vanished before you could properly comprehend what exactly was happening. Gentle petals of laughter erupted from the girl above you and you felt a slight blush rush up to your face in embarrassment. _Why was she laughing when she was the one who had run into you??_ You felt wet golden strands of hair brush against your face as she shifted to get a grip on the umbrella. With a playful look in her eyes, she helped you get up before introducing herself and brushing some of the water off of the both of you.

“ _Sorry for running into you! I could have sworn I was going in the direction of Up-Mile hill…_ ”

You had been at a loss for words at the time and had gotten roped into walking her home, which in all honesty you were extremely thankful for. The strange confrontation led to a strong friendship blooming between the two of you.

“Hellooooo? Is anybody awake in theeeeere?” 

Lucia reached across the table and booped your nose making you snap out of your reverie. Heat rose in your cheeks as you realized you had completely zoned out and missed what she had said. With a cough and a quick apology, you gestured for her to repeat herself and she groaned. Then with a roll of her eyes she took a dramatic sip from her own milkshake container, she had gotten a cookie dough flavored one if you recall correctly, and she motioned to the person that was sitting next to you half asleep.

With a groan, the boy sat up reluctantly in response to Lucia kicking his shin in a teasing manner under the table. From underneath the black locks of hair hanging halfway down his face, a pair of sharp grey eyes were glaring at Lucia, but she just smiled at the grumpy boy and pretended she couldn’t see his pissed-off expression.

“You should let me take you to the salon, your hair is getting in the way of letting me see those scary grey eyes of yours.”

With a huff, he turned away ignoring her words with the intent of going back to sleep and you felt a giggle slip through your mouth before you could stop it. At the noise, he spun back around looking at you accusingly and you slapped a hand over your mouth as your body held back the laughter bubbling up inside. He looked just like a kid that got his candy taken away. Lucia reached out and tugged on his ear playfully.

“You’re just so cute Zach! We can’t help it when you act like this~”

“Ugh lay off Lucy-”

“The day I lay off will be the day I die, Zach! Now c’mon, stop being a sour lemon and join in the conversation. _It’s interesting!”_

Zachary Gardener. Older brother of Harold and oldest son of Dave and Maria Gardener. He lived with his family on Witcham Street near the storm drain that Georgie had been poking around in. Zach was a far cry from normality until you actually took the time to get to know the guy. He looked like a delinquent that was constantly up to no good if you only took him at face value. Your parents treated the rumors that had begun to circulate around him as facts and had told you to stay away from him when you were younger.

But fate had a funny way of doing things.

You had met him during the same summer you had met Lucia. But unlike the day you met Lucia, the skies were clear and there was a humid wet heat rolling through Derry. At the time you didn’t have a car so your only means of transportation was the old sun-bleached mint green bicycle that was currently residing in your parent's garage, rusted to hell and forgotten. It was well used and worn, plenty of scuff marks and dents from use. That day when you were coming home from your job, you had been working as a messenger at the train yard for the last few months, you had clutched in your hand an envelope that held four beautiful Andrew Jackson’s inside. It was pay-day and you wanted to spend some hard-earned cash before your parents could put it into savings.

You had been speeding down Kansas Street feeling the wind whip your hair back and your eyes were narrowed from the bright light of the sun and push of the wind. The bike ticked while you switched the gear setting and the click-clack of the chain picked up its rhythm. The bike was old but you loved it as if it were brand new, the logo on the side had long since been stripped away and any decals on it had either been washed away by the rain or scratched off by the bike hitting the pavement when you were too lazy to use the kickstand. Your hands tightened on the rubber grips of the handlebar as you pushed against the pedals, trying to go even _faster._

Turning your head skyward you saw the stand-pipe, standing just as strong and enormous as you remembered it being. The chatter of kids flooded your ears as you were passing by Bassy Park and you smiled. It was then that a wind-battered form came up from behind you and stayed at your side easily keeping pace with your high speed. Glancing over at the uninvited guest you had seen him, jet black hair whipped backward and eyes squinting from the wind slamming into his face. He didn’t ride a bike like you but rather he stood tall and balanced on a scratched up skateboard. The first time your eyes had met his during the fast-paced ride down the street was when you both had just crested over the top of Up-Mile hill.

Easing up on the pedals you felt gravity drag you down the incline of the hill and he soared downwards with you. The entirety of the situation was strange in its own right, this stranger riding by your side for no reason, but the sensation that you were caught up in was not fear or panic but rather the feeling of being free of a cage you didn’t know you were being held in. It was exhilarating, you couldn’t remember the last time you had felt so free. 

But just like the time with Lucia, it only lasted for a short time.

You both rolled to a stop at the intersection of Center Street cross Kansas and he introduced himself with an energy that you had seen on him only a few times. At that moment he looked entirely awake, unlike every meet up afterward, where he seemed perpetually exhausted. Brushing his hair to the side he flashed you a smile and nodded toward your bike.

_“I can’t remember the last time I knew a girl that could keep my speed. You like going fast?”_

You had been racing to beat the Devil.

Racing to get by your parents. Racing against **Time**.

_“Something like that, yeah.”_

The conversation ebbed and flowed naturally as you and Zach had walked down Center Street toward a small ice cream parlor, the very same parlor that the three of you sat inside currently. Inside were plastic booths and square tables, and a long clear counter with the variety of different ice cream flavors on display. Colorful paints dotted the walls in a random pattern, and in some places, there were shapes plastered on. Multi-Colored Triangles, Squares, and Circles covered the expanse of the walls with the exception of the wall that the entrance door was on. The front of the parlor had a massive glass window that stretched from the floor to ceiling that let you see the scenery outside as well as the busy townsfolk running their errands while you could stay cool and comfortable indoors. 

You blinked rapidly trying to drag yourself back to the present as Zach said something that caused Lucia’s to scoff and stick her tongue out like a child.

“Okay wise-guy, what do _you_ think then?”

Zach waved his milkshake in the air dismissively, making the vanilla flavored contents swirl around inside.

“ _I think_ that yesterday was god awful, the weather was bad and she had to watch over a child that won’t take no for an answer. _I think_ she was overwhelmed and sick, which led to a lot of reality bleeding into her dreams. The cage? That's probably symbolic of how she feels trapped in her current lifestyle. The clown? Well, that's easy, she said that Josie saw a clown in the storm drain. It unnerved her but didn’t _scare_ her, usually the things that appear in dreams are the things that lurk in the back of your mind. Now in regards to the bite?”

He shrugged and a smile tugged at his lips.

“Maybe she’s just a masochist.”

Lucia snorted into her milkshake and your face heated up in embarrassment. In response to how red your face was getting, both of them broke into a burst of loud laughter drawing attention from the cashier and waitress that stood behind the clear counter. Both of them looked at your companions and then at you with a mixture of confusion. There was a familiar judgment in their eyes, the same judgment that your peers gave you back in high school when you started to hang out with what would become two of your closest friends. They saw Lucia, a popular beauty that could make anyone swoon with a smile and a wink, and they saw Zachary, renowned silent type bad boy that no girls were brave enough to talk to (Which the exception of you and Lucia), and then they saw you. You who had a modest home, a modest job, and led a very modest life. You were the very textbook example of _normal_ and, in their eyes, _boring._

_So why on God's green earth did they hang out with you?_

If someone asked you how you managed to befriend them both you would just shrug. The friendship that had bloomed between the three of you felt natural, felt _right._ They were easy to talk to and you had to catch yourself on multiple occasions from telling them about Azael, they knew bits and pieces but you felt like you weren’t supposed to tell them about him, not yet at least.

The same went for them as well. Just like you had secrets they also had a few that they trusted you to not speak about outside of their meetups. One of those important secrets was the fact that Lucia was actually just as into girls as she was into guys, her parents didn’t know and she would be in huge trouble if they found out. She flirted with girls and guys alike although the former didn’t seem to pick up on it as much as the latter did. Interestingly enough she had on more than one occasion even flirted with _you,_ and you never even started picking up on it until she told you that she was into girls. After that conversation, you began to notice when she was being coy toward you and more often than not you became a blushing mess when she was feeling mischievous. 

And even after all this time, you weren’t sure if she was genuinely hitting on you or if she just enjoyed watching you get flustered. Either way, she always seemed satisfied with the reactions she got from you and never went too far with it. All the teasing she did was carefully monitored, not once had she made you feel uncomfortable or upset. It was almost striking how well she could read you, much like how Josie could.

On the topic of being able to read people well, Zach was equally just as skilled. Although he was more of a listener rather than a speaker, he was extremely observant and noticed details in tones and speech patterns that Lucia might miss. He could tell very easily if someone was lying, or not being completely genuine. You had asked him once about how he knew if someone was lying and he had pointed at his eyes before speaking. “ _Those who tell the truth have a certain light in their eyes, whereas with those who lie the light is distorted and missing.”_

Zachary had his own fair share of secrets, just like Lucia. While a lot of them were relatively normal there was only one that shocked you, and that was the fact that his unkempt appearance and bad-boyish persona was nothing more than him just playing pretend. The facade itself was a result of him trying to turn away potential people who would try to socialize with him. He had zero interest in dating or popularity and would rather spend his days skating down the Derry side-streets instead of going out on a date with a girl. He had explained to the both of you that he didn’t get the same urges that most guys his age got and during that particular conversation he had described how he only really started to feel attraction only when he established an emotional connection with the other person.

Immediately Lucia had winked at him and asked if this was his way of asking the two of you out on a date which caused him to sputter and go red in the face with embarrassment. Zach was really shy underneath the persona he wore and both you and Lucia cherished the moments where the real Zach broke through the surface of the facade and made an appearance. The relationship the three of you had together was certainly strange, but you wouldn’t trade away for anything else. It still made you smile when you thought about how the three of you, despite your differences, grew to become close and stay close even after you all graduated and began down the different paths that were your lives. 

Across from you Lucia began to calm down and flashed you an assuring smile before taking a sip from her milkshake. Next to you Zach chuckled as he lazily lifted his arm over your head and around your shoulder pulling you in for a hug. The atmosphere was one of comfort, one that you had craved since the night before. As if they could tell that you were still feeling tense Lucia made a proposition.

“Wanna come with me and Zach to Aladdin’s? I heard there was a new horror movie that just came out. Apparently it's supposed to be _super_ scary.”

Even with the strange occurrences of last night, you refused to let yourself fall out of rhythm. No more would you let it plague your mind, it wasn’t important and you had better ways of spending your time. Hesitantly your brows drew together before you became more sure of yourself and threw a decisive nod in Lucia’s direction. “....Yeah...Yeah, a movie sounds nice.”

In response to your consent, Lucia beamed and tugged on Zach as she got out of her end of the booth. “Then what are we waiting for! Let’s go and get _scared!”_

* * *

A deafening shriek blared through the speakers of the theater as the woman on screen ran in the sewers away from her death. The movie thus far had been a tale about a group of young adults going on an expedition through an unmarked town. It was generic to an extent, many clichés were packed into the film amongst the moments of terror. The lighting and instrumental score however made up for the flaws you found in the movie. The tension and the way that the music seemed to _slide_ rather than crescendo or grow quieter had you constantly on the edge of your seat. 

On your left, Lucia was leaning back into her seat while continuing to eat from the container of popcorn in her lap. Before the movie had even started she had offered to hold your hand if you got scared and winked at you before you could reply. Now, as her eyes were blown wide at the scene in front of her you wondered if it was really the other way around. Lucia was snarky alright but she wasn’t immune to _everything._ Everyone is scared of _something_ _._ Gently you lifted your hand to set into her free shaking one but before you could you felt your other companion nudge your shoulder.

On your right was Zachary who was seemingly unaffected by the woman screaming bloody murder on the screen and more concerned with Lucia’s predicament. Slowly he leaned over the cupholder separating your seat from his and you felt his breath brush against the shell of your ear before his voice came out in a barely audible whisper asking if she was okay. Glancing back toward said girl you told him quietly that you weren’t sure. There was a moment of silence before he responded, gently asking if you and him could switch seats, which after a moment of internal debating you agreed to. Zach was much more familiar with the horror genre and knew how to make even the scariest aspects of horror seem silly and childish.

Moving quickly you both shifted seats and you watched him take her nervous hands into his as he whispered something to her that you couldn’t hear. For a few seconds you tried to figure out what he was saying to her but quickly gave up as the sounds of the movie muffled anything you could potentially hear. Reclining back into the velvet seat you watched with mild interest as the woman ran into another member of the expedition group before they got separated again. The music seemed to drone on and on as you watched and you felt your eyes begin to grow heavy.

 _Were you seriously falling asleep during a horror movie? Seriously? A horror movie?_ The thoughts floated in your mind and a small chuckle left you before you slipped into the calm of the familiar dark.

But just you felt yourself begin to drift you felt yourself get yanked back harshly and you gasped awake. Immediately you turned to apologize to Zach for your sudden outburst but what you saw made the words get stuck in your throat, unable to get out.

The theater was empty.

Slowly your gaze rose from the empty seats to the movie that was still playing on the screen and you felt your stomach flip in mild terror. On-screen instead of the woman running, it was _you._ Everything else was the same, the clothing, the environment, the lighting, and the music. All of it. It was all the same but with you running instead. Your mind drummed as you watched your copy on-screen run from her death. 

It was then that you realized that you didn’t know what was chasing your doppelganger, before when you were watching the movie seemed as if the killer was a person but now…..now you weren’t sure. You looked into the dark void that followed you on the screen and sharply inhaled as you realized it was quickly starting to gain speed. Not human. Definitely not human. _Humans don’t move like that._ Almost painfully your heart rapidly beat in your chest, as if you were running too. Running from something _horrific._

There was a scream. It took you a moment to realize that it was not the audio from the film but rather your voice speaking words that you never remembered saying. Screams and cries for help bounced off the walls of the theater and you felt your body tense up as you stood from your seat. Almost in response to you leaving your seat, the doppelganger’s face on the screen had turned to look at you with an expression twisted in horror before the screen cut to black. In the back of your mind, you could hear the projector in the back room above you seeming to click and tick as if it had gotten stuck. Whipping around you looked for any sign that you weren’t alone as the darkness of the theater began to sit in. 

What the _fuck_? This had to be a bad dream. Bad dream. Had to be. Shit. _Shit._ What was happening? If this was a dream Azael should have been here. Why wasn’t he here? Why? Why? _Why?_

The projector snapped to life again above you and your eyes instantly went back to the screen as your body locked up in terror before a blood-curdling scream ripped itself from your throat.

No longer was your copy running..... or living for that matter. Her body had been ripped apart with limbs and organs casually strewn across the expanse of the sewer she had been running in. Blood covered the walls of the tunnel and some was even splattered across the lens of the camera itself. You wanted to look away. You wanted to, but you _couldn’t._ Frantically your eyes searched across the screen looking for whatever it was that you had to see so that whatever was holding your body still _would let you go._

Something rolled in the tunnel and you felt your stomach swing upwards into your throat. The scene became unfocused as it zoomed in on the rolling object before becoming clear again. The object was your head, your eyes wide and glazed over in fearful unshed tears while your mouth laid half-open as if you had wanted to say something just as death came down upon you. Disgust and fear shot through your frozen form as if you had been impaled by an aspect of death and you watched as someone walked over to your decapitated head and picked it up with small dainty hands.

A childish giggle filled the theater and you felt someone’s hand fall onto your shoulder. Behind you was something that had not been there at the start of this nightmare. It was unfamiliar and dark. It was something _wrong._ The hand shifted slowly dragging itself toward your throat and your pulse hummed underneath its touch. It leaned downward and you felt a heat rise in your stomach as the existence tightened its grip on your throat.

Panic flooded your system as you fought against the chill that was beginning to fill your body. You were suffocating, it was strangling you and if you didn’t do something you would _die._ It wanted to kill you and wanted to eat you. But you didn’t want to die. You didn’t want to. You didn’t want to. God, was this the end? Was this...

Was this real?

Your mind snapped into a razor focus as everything slid into place. Azael wasn’t here because this wasn’t a dream. This was _real_ to a certain degree. It functioned like a dream but was _not_ actually one. In mere seconds the answer to your predicament became obvious, if only because you only now understood how this game was meant to be played.

That's it. That was _it._

So no. _No,_ you wouldn’t die. Not without a **_fight._**

Mentally diving headfirst into the chill you had previously avoided, you felt movement finally come back to you in a brutal wave of pain. Despite your muscles screaming at you to wait you whirled around and glared at the shadowed creature with everything you had. A snarl left the disembodied form but you were too riled to feel properly afraid of whatever it was that you were facing.

“Yeah, I think the fuck not, _Bitch._ ”

Your fist reeled back and behind you, out of your line of vision, a certain brown-haired child hovered in the air mimicking your movements. As you swung forward so did they, and when your fist collided with the monster before you so did theirs. The creature screamed in pain and started to fly away from you but you simply climbed on top of the rows of seats that were blocking your way and continued to advance toward it with your eyes ablaze with a cosmic fury that would put even the most intimidating forces of nature to shame.

“What’s wrong? Don’t like it when the _prey_ fights back?”

You smiled as you felt the drag of the waking world begin to pull your body from this awful place. The creature howled as its body was thrown downward toward the floor in an uncontrollable manner. Confusion laced its shadowed features and you spoke loudly as you descended toward where it landed.

“It's called lucid dreaming, you shitstain. You must have thought you were so clever making a functional dream into reality. But here is the problem that you overlooked,” Extending your arm a strange looking sword manifested in your grip. You didn’t even spare a glance at it, after all, it didn’t matter what it looked like, what mattered was what you _believed_ you could do with it. “The second that someone figures out that they are dreaming, they have the power to determine what happens next. You no longer have control, _I do._ ”

The monster's shape twisted as you raised the sword high and for a split second everything faded away to a familiar-looking void. _Todash._ The word rang in your head, louder this time as if the word itself was warning you. But you didn’t know what it meant and it didn’t matter. Ignoring the ringing in your mind you swung downward, with the firm belief that the sword would kill what tried to kill you. But just as the hit landed you felt something pull you back harshly, and you caught a brief glimpse of dark red hair next to you moments before you awoke with a gasp.

As everything faded back into focus you noticed that you were still in the theater and next to you Lucia and Zach were currently gathering up their leftover snacks as they were putting on their coats. Quickly trying to get your bearings as fast as you could you saw that the movie had wrapped up and was currently rolling through the credits. _How long had you been out?_

Noticing you moving Lucia leaned around Zach to talk to you before her expression changed drastically and she gasped. In response to Lucia’s sudden panic, Zach turned to look at you and recoiled slightly before hastily pulling something out of his pocket. It was a small travel pack of Kleenex tissues that he immediately ripped open before handing over to Lucia. 

“What the fuck happened to you?!”

Lucia tore a tissue out of the pack and started to wipe away something on your face. As she pulled back to get another tissue you saw that the white of the tissue was covered in a deep red making you instinctively raise your hand and touch your face in response. You felt around, trying to find where you were hurt and your fingers trailed up the two lines of liquid they had discovered only to stop over your eyes.

You had been crying.

You had been crying _tears of **blood.**_

Instantly as the thought surfaced in your mind your eyes became glossed over with emotion and salty clear tears soon ran down over the red tracks, washing them away. The realization of what you had just done in that strange pseudo dream began to sink in and you felt yourself begin to shake uncontrollably in fear. What had just happened? You were alive _but what just happened?_ You didn’t understand it one bit and a part of you didn’t want to ever understand. It was too much, you just wanted things to be normal. Normal with Azael. Normal with Josie. Normal with everyone.

Why had that constant normality suddenly disappeared?

* * *

You parked your car and took several deep breaths before getting out. Whatever was going on was not your problem. Life was normal, it had dealt you a normal hand all your life, it wouldn’t change so suddenly for no reason. All you needed was some peace and quiet to sort your thoughts and relax. Then everything would settle down and all the strangeness that seemed to be hovering around you would go away.

Now, where would one find peace and quiet? Why, the library of course! More specifically, the Derry Public Library. The place was where you had spent the majority of your time as a child before you had started working. Often you had read and reread the old worn out hard-cover fairy tales that the library kept on hand for those who enjoyed classics of that nature. You were, without a doubt, one of those people. After locking your car you started toward the big stone structure where you had spent your youth and opened the big mahogany door with practiced ease. 

The musk of dust and leather-bound books immediately invaded your senses as you took your first few steps into the adult library. The question of when you were last there briefly crossed your mind before being pushed to the side as you began making your way through the maze of tall shelves filled to the brim with books. In all honesty, you had no idea what you were looking for. In your rush to get away from the theater your only goal in mind was going to a place that you knew would be quiet and give you the space you needed. 

The hard part was trying to get away from your friends. Zach and Lucia had been extremely concerned and it took everything you had to assure them that everything was fine and that you were alright. This was mainly because everything you said was utter bullshit and they called you out on it. In the end, you had only gotten away because you had said you were sick. Shitty excuse as it was, it was the only logical explanation that you could give them for the blood. And hell maybe you were sick, you would rather it be some strange illness than the possible alternatives. You had no idea _what_ said alternatives would be but the fact still stands that being sick would be better than _them._

Your hand lazily trailed across the spine of the books on the shelf as you continued forward. Immersion was key when trying to push all the awful garbage from your mind and quickly filling the empty space with the sensations of something entirely different. From the soft conversation of students studying together to the sound of books being checked out. The light of the afternoon sun was slowly beginning to die down and had made the tall shelves cast long shadows along the walls of the library. The cool shade of the shadows calmed you as you continued to make your way through the divided sections while briefly glimpsing at the books your hand had landed on.

Along the walls were posters advocating for good habits, the school reading program, and reminders about the seven o'clock curfew that the Derry police department had put into action. Pulling away from the bookshelves you looked more closely at the curfew poster feeling your brows draw together in confusion. Something felt off about it, and you had to catch yourself before you got dragged into yet another memory. Shaking your head you backed away while turning to walk toward the glass corridor that connected the Adult Library to the Children's Library. 

The corridor was always warm, be it summer, spring, fall, or winter. Feeling your body slow to a stop halfway across you looked out over the street and watched the colorful trees that dotted the sidewalk sway with the breeze. Watching them made that sense of peace you desperately craved start to slowly to ebb back into your nervous system and you felt your mind start to finally clear. It's a shame that you didn’t notice the red balloon floating across the street before you turned and continued toward the Children’s Library, someone had put it there _specifically for you to see._

Pushing through the metal doors that were on the end of the corridor you felt yourself involuntarily take a deep breath as if what was on the other side was not your childhood but rather the things of your nightmares. Still, you walked through undeterred and felt relief wash over you when you saw that barely anything was different inside the smaller library. So forward you walked and once more the question popped into your head and rather than fading it persisted and brought along a bunch of other questions. _When was the last time you were here? When was the last time you actually sat here and read about the life of another? Why had you stopped coming back? What changed?_ Your pace was calm as you made your way toward the section that held the Fairy Tales you read as a child, but you had begun to feel a familiar sting around your heart. It was a familiar pain, an old wound of sorts. 

Almost all the answers were or were because of your parents. There was nothing wrong with them, they never abused you or hurt you in any way. They were supportive of your academy endeavors and helped you out whenever you needed it….. but somewhere along the line, there had been a disconnect. Marriage was the tipping point for you but there had been other instances where you had disagreed with them prior to it. One of those such instances was the fact that you had grown close with Carol.

You couldn’t imagine what would cause them to not like such a nice lady no matter what you tried to come up with. The same went for your friends although your parents were much less disapproving of them which confused the absolute hell out of you. They worried about you hanging around Lucia in case she turned out to be a party girl, _which she wasn’t._ And they didn’t want you to associate with Zachary because of his reputation, _even though his reputation was a big fat lie._ Your parents were just as loving and overprotective as all parents were, but something always just seemed kinda off about their intentions. You didn’t doubt that they wanted you to succeed its just…. It seems like there might be more to it than even they realize.

It felt like they had been pushing you to leave Derry without even realizing it.

It didn’t make sense but at the same time, it made perfect sense. They wanted you to get a nice well paying job, have no attachments to anyone living in Derry, to get married and honeymoon somewhere so that you could see the world and have the desire to _leave._ They wanted you to _escape._ The only real flaw besides the obvious fact that not once have they ever said that they wanted you to leave is the question of _why._

_Why did they want you to leave?_

Several kids walked past you giggling and you felt that pain around your heart sharpen briefly as you watched the kids excitedly rush toward the exit to go home. _Why couldn’t you just be happy with what you had? Why couldn’t you just be satisfied with your success?_ With a slightly annoyed huff, you tried to redirect your attention to the books that laid on the shelves in front of you, desperately trying to push the negativity out of your mind. Along the rows of books, your eyes caught a few familiar titles. From _Cinderella_ to _Rumpelstiltskin_ to _Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,_ you felt a smile tug at your lips as you remembered when you read each one of them. And while they all held special places in your heart there was one story in particular that had the honor of being called your favorite, and as you scanned over the books once more a grin broke out onto your face. 

_Rapunzel_

Slowly, almost hesitantly, you reached up to where the book was stuck into the shelf and dragged your finger down the weathered hard-back spine. It was an old edition of the book, the very same edition that you had constantly rented out as a child over and over. Sweet nostalgia pulled at your heart and for a moment you felt the child buried deep within you rush to the surface, screaming and dancing with all her might that she was free. That she was forever released and excitedly promised that she would take away all the pains and bores of life. But that childish existence was fleeting, as most things were once you get to a certain age, and by the time you had reached the end of the gold lettering on the spine, her existence was once more hidden under the responsibility of adulthood.

Drawing your finger back upwards you tugged at the top of the spine and removed the book from the shelf with the gentleness of a collector with their artifacts. A ghost of a smile crossed your face as you noticed the thick layer of dust on the cover on the book, so thick in fact that you couldn’t see the illustration or the title on the front. Lightly you pressed the palm of your hand across the hardback cover, pushing the dust to the side before blowing it off the book entirely. With the illustration no longer covered by dust, you felt your heart skip a beat in excitement before skipping once more in confusion.

It wasn’t the same.

You could distinctly recall the design of the cover being that of a girl with long blonde hair looking out of a stone tower with her prince standing down by the base looking upward at her. What was on the cover now…. didn’t match what you remembered. Instead of the familiar blonde princess, a girl with long dark brown hair was gazing forlornly out of one of the windows of the tower, that of which was entirely different compared to what it should have been. Nothing reflected the tower that you remembered, from color to texture to even the very shape it took. The tower itself looked _less_ like a tower and _more_ like a spire that reached far higher up into the sky than the original did. Not to mention that the very prince that should have been near the bottom of the cover was missing entirely, and in his place were rows upon rows of roses that wrapped around the base of the tower. 

Lifting your gaze back up toward the girl in the tower you felt a pang of familiarity hit you, but you couldn’t remember from where. Curiously you opened the book to the back and pulled out the log sheet from the paper pocket that was glued to the back cover of the book. Your eyes flickered down the names and froze when they landed on yours. Had the situation not been what it was, then perhaps you would have laughed at the fact that your name was stamped so many times in a row. But you weren’t laughing, and that was because according to the log sheet you had been the very last person to rent it out. Slipping the card back into the pocket you closed the old book to look at the cover once more, expecting it to change. Expecting it to go back to normal.

It didn’t.

You gritted your teeth annoyed and tried to reason out what you saw. Maybe you were just misremembering. Or maybe the log sheet got moved to a different copy of the book. Things like this… they don’t _change._ Taking a step back you clasped the book tightly in your hands as you felt a wave of dizziness almost overwhelm you as if in response to you rejecting the book in front of you. The longer you looked at the book the more it felt like you were slowly being submerged in an endless body of water, the pounding of waves dragging your body further and further down into the dark.

“Miss..?”

A small hand pulled on your shirt and you looked down to see a boy staring up at you concerned. He had short brown hair and was slightly more pudgy compared to the other kids you had seen earlier. As your eyes met his you felt something akin to an electric shock that ripped you out of your frozen state making the book fall from your grip. Blinking rapidly you felt as if your mind had fizzled out from just coming into contact with the boy. _Who was this kid?_

“Ben Hanscom, er, my name is Ben Hanscom anyway.” 

You gaped and felt your face flush in embarrassment over the fact that you had spoken your thoughts aloud before introducing yourself to the kid. Trying to retain the sense of normality that you had found earlier you forced yourself to straighten and apologized for letting your mouth run unthinkingly. The boy, Ben, shook his head and a relaxed smile graced his face as he leaned down to pick up the book that had fallen out of your hands.

“I don’t usually see adults over here, let alone in the Fairy Tale section. You a fan of the classics?”

Looking down at the book in his hand you responded. “Ah ... yeah, I suppose you could say that. The concept of magic and other worlds had always fascinated me as a child.”

Those stories that took you far away to the land of the impossible, that let you peer into the lives of those who had the opportunity to achieve a happy ending. A part of you never truly let go of that concept, that _happy ending._ With Azael you felt as if you were more than just _you,_ you felt otherworldly. Every time he smiled or held you in his arms you felt as if everything was brighter and that everything would be okay. He was magic and you belonged to him completely.

You and him danced a delicate tango that couldn’t be replicated in reality. He was like a drug to you, a drug that you couldn’t help but get instantly hooked on. His kindness was as sweet as sugar and his dark promises made you want to fall into his arms over and over again. To say you were head over heels for the man was putting it extremely lightly. He was the key to your happiness and as long as you had him you could settle on living your modest way of life for the rest of time, because while the waking world was normal the land of dreams was a different realm of abnormal in its entirety.

“When I was young, I used to read Fairy Tales to block out the harsh reality of the world I was surrounded by and to immerse myself in the unrealistic lands that exist only within the pages of these books.“ Pausing you saw the slight surprise on his face and internally scolded yourself. “Ah, sorry, I suppose that's a bit dark for someone your age, I didn’t mean to-“

“I get it.”

You halted as his expression became one of understanding. The sudden sensation of familiarity swelled within you and you could have sworn that you had met this kid somewhere before this. If you had put more thought into the feeling you would have realized that it was the same sensation you had when you met Lucia and Zach for the first time. Alas, you didn’t and only thought that you felt that sense of familiarity simply because you had probably seen him at some point while roaming around Derry.

The conversation shifted from fairy tales to current events and aspects of reality. You had to admit, the kid was smart. Very analytical. He would go places in life, you were certain of that. Extending his hand towards you he passed over the old edition of Rapunzel back to you and puffed up his chest slightly as if he was proud of the fact that you spoke to him on equal footing. Over the course of the discussion between the two of you, you had noticed the subtle changes in body language as he relaxed. His shoulders weren’t stiffened up and his posture was much more informal than what it first was.

Looking up at you his confidence seemed to waver as words began to spew from his mouth. “I meant to ask earlier but do you come here often? To the, um, the library that is.” His hands nervously clenched and unclenched as he continued. “Wait that sounds weird, I meant like. I’ve never seen you around and I’m here almost every day and it’s, um. Actually it’s just. No no That's not right either. The thing is you are very-“ His words abruptly cut off and he swallowed the paper jam in his mouth before speaking, and this time it flowed much more eloquently. 

“You’re the first adult that has ever seriously listened to me and I don’t want to lose whatever this is, will I ever see you again?” 

It took you a moment to actually understand what he was saying and almost instantly you felt a lump form in the back of your throat at the sad realization of his words. _He doesn’t have friends._ You inhaled sharply as a certain memory surfaced in your mind. He was just like you had been when you were younger. _Except he was brave enough to reach out to someone while you had simply wallowed in your loneliness, you coward._ Abruptly drawing your brows together you felt your face cringe slightly at the harsh thought and you felt your good mood deflate by a large margin before you responded to the kid.

“You want to hang out with me?” The words were a bit higher in pitch as the question hung in the air. “Wouldn’t you rather spend time with kids your own age?” Your voice dropped several octaves lower as one of the other kids roaming the library passed by the two of you and while your words hung stagnant in the air the kid looked at the books on the shelves with new interest, as if the question was something he had been asked before and didn’t enjoy answering.

“They aren’t as interesting as you are… and nobody seems to want to hang out with me.” His words had hit you in your heart of hearts. You _knew_ what he was going through, you had experienced it first hand growing up. It was quite strange that beyond this immediate reaction you had, you hadn’t put any thought into why he was being so honest with you and briefly looked upwards toward the clock that hung above the entrance to the glass corridor you had entered earlier, the cogs and gears of your mind beginning to spin in thought. Curfew was in a few hours and you still had a few errands to run before you settled in for the night, you had to go to work tomorrow after all.

“How about this then-“ You gestured with your hand toward the clock you had been looking at and then at one of the smaller tables that were near the edge of the Fairy Tale section. “Why don’t we schedule a weekly meet-up? We can set a day and time to hang out and chat for a bit, but _only_ if that’s okay with your parents. I don’t want you getting into trouble for hanging out with someone who is older than you.” The words had the tone and pitch of a responsible adult who knew what they were doing but your voice held a certain childish excitement in it that you were unaware of. In response to you, Ben nodded his head and smiled not missing a beat to answer.

“Sure thing! Thank you so much, I promise you won’t regret this!!” Continuing on he talked about his schedule between school, helping out at the library, and the times he needed to be at home to help his mother with chores. His excitement was contagious as he talked and you couldn’t help the small smile that appeared on your face at the fact that he was happy because of you. After a few moments of planned and scheduling, the two of you decided that Saturdays at 3:00 pm was the best available time that you both shared.

You talked for a few moments more after making the decision before Ben noticed the time and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly while gesturing at the clock with his free hand. “I gotta head out….” His expression became a bit sad at the realization that he had to leave before his face brightened once more when it dawned on him that this wasn’t the last time he’d see you. “But I’ll see you this Saturday. So I just gotta wait till then… which is completely fine!” Beginning to walk away he waved at you in a shy manner, as if he was still experiencing the new sensations and feelings that newfound friendship brought. “I guess I’ll see you later!! Bye!”

Watching his form recede you hovered in that comfortable state of mind he had brought you for a few moments before looking down at the book that you held in your hands, starting to feel that familiar unease begin to creep back into your mind. You had been nothing but a child when you last read through the book. Memories fade and change over time, just like how as a child things appear much bigger than they do as an adult. This was probably just one of those cases in which you simply just misremembered, it wasn’t that big of a deal.

The rational words brought you comfort, they were the sensible light in the unfamiliar dark. Everything abided by laws, and there was reasoning for everything. Normality is a road with occasional potholes that we may or may not run over. In the end everything would be fine and life would return to the way it was before the strange chaos. It would, just as it always did. Calming your worries one rational thought at a time you made your way over to the checkout desk and set the book and your yellow library card down on the counter while flashing an easygoing smile at the woman who sat on the other side. 

“I’d like to rent this one out, Mrs. Starrett.” Smooth and void of the anxiety that you may have felt, your voice came out in a relaxed way as you addressed the head librarian in charge of the children’s library. In response to your voice, she glanced up at you from her own reading material, _Clear and Present Danger,_ and reached over to pick up the book you had set down. Glancing at the cover before flipping to the back to take out of the log card a small smile appeared on her face. “ _Rapunzel?_ Why, I haven’t seen someone take out this particular copy in years… Although I remember back when I first started working a young girl constantly rented it out. It’s strange…. she used to visit the library constantly but then vanished suddenly.”

There was a slight teasing tone to her voice and you felt a certain shame swirl in your stomach. It had been _years_ since you had come to the children’s library, and a small part of you was hoping that she had forgotten about you and your strange attachment to the story as a child but it would appear that it was the opposite as she was currently looking at you with a knowing expression. “You wouldn’t happen to know what happened to her, would you? She was always an excellent reader and loved fairy tales.”

The childish embarrassment you felt at the fact that you had stopped visiting without telling anyone grew and caused you to break eye contact and chose to look at the carpeted floor you were currently standing on rather than at the librarian that stood on the other side of the counter. At your obvious discomfort, the older woman chuckled and smiled warmly in a welcoming way as she wrote down your name and the due-back date on the log card. “Come now, no need to feel shame, dear. Things happen, we all get busy in our lives. I’m just happy to see that you are doing well after all these years.” 

To say you felt relieved didn’t give the emotion you felt proper justice, because as a child the library had been a second home to you and to know that you were still welcome here had made the void in your heart you didn’t know existed vanish. Watching the librarian fiddle with the log card for a few more moments you felt a sense of familiarity come back to you. Or maybe it was nostalgia? Well, whatever it was was a positive sensation. One that was welcomed despite the strangeness of it. 

After a moment Mrs. Starrett set the book back on the counter as she handed you back your library card with practiced ease. “The book will be due back in a month, but we can extend the date if need be.” Nodding you smiled at her appreciatively before picking up the book. “Thank you, and from now on I'll try to make an effort to swing by more often so we can catch up. Have a good night, Mrs. Starrett.” 

“You too, dear.”

Turning around you started on your way out of the library unaware that you were being followed.

* * *

The gravel pathway underneath your feet crunched with every footstep as you made your way across the familiar beaten and well-trodden path. Behind you, the sun was hovering over the horizon despite it being only in the early evening; dark cloud formations were slowly being dragged in from the west. It was only a matter of time before the next big storm would come crashing down into your humble life, and what pains and joys that storm would bring.

At the moment, however, you were currently taking care of one last errand before heading home and settling in for the night. The day had been a mess and a futile waste of time, in your attempts of distracting yourself you found more worries than assurances. You wanted- no _needed_ to get at least something worthwhile done. Something on your endless list of chores and future plans that had a solid impact on you and didn’t just float away on the wind as everything else had. You needed something to ground you, to anchor you to reality. 

Strolling up to your destination you sighed before breathing in the crisp autumn air. It was easy to lose yourself in the sensations of the fall colors and the cold chill of the changing seasons. Gazing in front of you at the humble wooden home surrounded by fields and agricultural structures a small smile pulled itself onto your face involuntarily. It was a farm that was owned by a family that lived in Derry. The Hanlons. Although you didn't know of its existence until a few years ago.

Back when you had first moved out you had struggled to stand on your own, not because of the lifestyle change but rather due to your new lack of time and sudden increase in workload. You were accustomed to cleaning and maintaining the interior of your old room back at your childhood home while also doing a fair amount of chores to help ease the mountain of stress that seemed to always weigh on your parent's shoulders. This stress that they had felt had become all too familiar to you during the long stretch of time it took trying to figure out how one person - _you_ \- could support themselves but still have the time and energy to juggle around and prioritize responsibilities.

You discovered that _that_ was virtually impossible to do on your own.

This resulted in you seeking outside help, help that would assist in keeping the exterior of the house and the front and back lawns in check. You had stapled a few _Help Wanted_ ads onto some of the wooden telephone poles around Derry and decided that you would wait a week for a response before trying a different method to receive help. Although that idea was soon scrapped when you received a phone call two days later from the Hanlons saying that their son was free and willing to help out for a moderate price.

It was during this time of change that you had met the Hanlon’s son, Mike. After you had discussed his pay with his parents he had started coming to your house to mow the lawns and helped clean and organize the interior of your garage and backyard shed. Somewhere down the line during one of his visits, the two of you had struck up a casual conversation that had led to you and him discussing the fall harvest. You had been raised in a somewhat nuclear household in the suburbs and the idea of living off the land in a more rural area piqued your interest somewhat. 

Eventually, this led to him offering to help set up a small garden in your backyard, a secret project the two of you then eagerly worked on during your spare time. It was something small with a wired fence and some wooden posts jammed into the ground here and there to hold the wire so it didn’t sag. Mike had told you when certain vegetables and fruits were in season and had helped you plant them accordingly. It was fun in a way, growing something on your own (With Mike’s guidance of course) gave you a sense of satisfaction you hadn’t felt in a while. Then, at the end of the season when the harvest rolled around, you took some of the excess crops and had brought them over to the Hanlon’s as a gift of thanks.

Today, however, you were doing the opposite. You were picking up from William Hanlon a few gallons of apple cider and some pumpkins for you and Josie to carve later on in the month when Halloween grew closer. As it stands right now it was still a ways off but you wanted to proactive and get them before the usual holiday rush swept in and took everything in stock, as it did every year. Besides that, you had already picked out what pumpkins you wanted and you didn’t want someone else to grab them before you could. It had happened last year and you refuse to let it happen again. So were you here doing this out of anxiety as well as the earlier stated reasons? _Yes._ Did that silly pumpkin incident that occurred last year _still_ bother you? _Yes._

In a slightly rushed way you made your way up on to the creaky porch before rapping on the wooden door of the residence. You weren’t in a hurry, not really at least, but you wanted to go home and sleep off the day. _To move on._ Huffing slightly you swayed on the balls of your feet, patiently rocking back and forth slightly as you waited for someone to come to the door. You had noticed the old ford pickup truck that William owned in the driveway on your way in so you knew that _someone_ was home. You paused in your rocking and furrowed your brows before quietly groaning at the realization that they might not be in the house but out in one of the fields somewhere. _Fuck._ How were you going to find them? Maybe you should have just-

“Hello?”

The voice surprised you and made you lose your balance in a way that would have been embarrassing had it been seen by someone other than the owner of the voice. Quickly pivoting your right foot to the side you caught yourself on the door frame with a mildly loud thump. Instantly you tried to make the weird motion look as natural as possible even though the very sight of you leaning that far back was just _filled_ with awkwardness. Despite this uncomfortable position you responded to the voice while craning your neck slightly to see over the wooden railing that framed the porch. “Mike? Is that you?”

There were some soft footfalls against dirt before the familiar farmhand came into view. The smile on his face told you everything you needed to know and you immediately righted yourself before brushing off the invisible dust on your clothing. Mike silently watched you settle back into a relaxed state and grinned earnestly when you walked toward him. Swinging your legs up and over the wooden railing, you easily jumped over the lower edge of the porch before landing on your feet neatly. At your actions, Mike rolled his eyes slightly before walking over the short leftover distance to get to you. “You do know you could just walk down the stairs. You know, like a normal person.”

“Well, _maybe_ I’m feeling a tad bit abnormal today.” You ruffled the top of his head playfully and smiled when he whined and batted away your hand. The words didn’t seem to faze them, as they had done you. Although abnormal wasn’t far from the truth, it would be more accurate if you said you felt _young_ because in a way you felt like a kid when doing simple silly stuff like jumping over railings or being overdramatic. But those moments were always brief, just as the moment in the library had been. Back to business as per always…You gazed out towards the fields before looking at Mike.

“Do you know where your dad is by any chance? I’m here to pick up a few things for Halloween.” The boy in front of you blinked and turned around to look over the cornfield you assumed he had come through prior to you seeing him before tilting his head to the side with a look of confusion crossing his face. “That’s… odd. I thought he was right behind me. He must have gone back to the barn to check up on the animals. The storm last night got them _really_ stirred up.” He gestured toward the sky before scratching the back of his head. “I can go grab what you need though, and I’ll keep an eye out for my dad. Just stay here and if you see him before me then tell him I went to go grab your stuff, that way nobody gets confused. Sound good?”

Without much thought you agreed to his request and you recited what you needed from him before watching as he took off down one of the dirt pathways dividing the fields, leaving you to be alone once more. It would seem that Mike, or rather the Hanlon’s themselves, were the types of people that just kept going and going, never really stopping to take a break. Their endurance was quite admirable, it had that type of vibe that made you feel like you still had the energy to keep going even when you were completely spent. In a way, you wish you had that determination, that will to survive. It built character in a person, made them strong and-

“....... _al_....”

-huh?

Your body stiffened slightly as the tall rows of corn across from you rustled in the sudden breeze. It was strange, eerie in fact, that you could have _sworn_ you heard a voice whispering amongst the sounds of the wind shaking the crops. Hesitantly you walked toward the field with your eyes frantically scanning around trying to see if it was an animal just roaming around. _Maybe it was a stray chicken...?_ Brushing some of the tall ears of corn to the side you tried to see what had caused the noise but didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. 

“Will? Is that you? Mike said-”

The rustling came again, but further in this time. Against your better judgment, you continued forward quickly surrounding yourself in a world of dull yellow with the cloudy sky above and the tilted dirt below. “Will? It’s me! Are you in here?!” Silence greeted you for a moment before something shiny flew out from behind you and seemed to fly for a few beats before crashing back down further into the field. _Was that a bird…? Ah, crap, what if it's injured… Maybe it would be best to just leave it alone ...But what if it needs help?...._ Internally you debated with yourself on whether on not to turn back and eventually settled on just checking up on it. If it was okay then no harm done and if it was...well.. not _okay ..._ then you could get Mike. 

So onward you went maneuvering deeper into the field trying to figure out where you saw the strange animal(?) fall. It would seem that luck was on your side as it didn’t take very long for you to track it down despite the fact that every direction was beginning to blur together. In the back of your mind your instincts were yelling at you to get out before you could get lost but the yells were quickly subdued by your _sensible_ adult brain saying that you were a mature adult and mature adults had no reason to worry. Mature adults never got mixed up in bad situations, right? _Right._ Besides what was the worst that could happen?

“... _.eam..._.”

You froze as you caught the tail end of someone’s voice and immediately felt confusion. Why would anyone be out this far in the field? Glancing around you looked for anything resembling a person before looking down at the ground where the shiny animal had crashed. It had taken several seconds for you to really understand what you were looking at before you inhaled sharply. The shiny _thing_ was a bird…. Although you weren’t really sure if it _really_ was one, it looked nothing like any bird you had seen before. Its body was contorted and elongated in a grotesque way; the sharply curved wings were a feathered mess of black and teal hues while its long tail-feather was a harsh reddish-orange. The talons and beak seemed to shine and reflect a greenish light despite the fact that the sun was nowhere in view, and... and.... Oh my god, why was it _moving_ like that?

Involuntarily you jumped backwards slightly as the strange bird-like creature twitched toward you with its legs clicking together against the ground. “Oh shit. _Oh shit._ What the _fuck_ -”

“.... _aaal...._ ”

The creature’s beak opened and warbled loudly, causing disgust and sudden fear to bloom in your stomach. The noise was familiar, it had been the same voice you had heard earlier, but now that you were watching the sound be produced first hand you felt an uncertain nausea begin to settle within you. Another strange human-like noise left the mouth of the creature while it dug its talons into the ground to get closer to you. You shifted to turn and run just as the creature drew close but halted as it reared to lunge at you. Snapping your eyes closed you braced yourself for its impact but none came.

Hesitantly you opened your eyes relieved that the creature hadn’t attacked but immediately regretted doing so. The already extremely contorted body of the creature was even more distorted and was staring at you with its eyes semi-rolled back into its skull. Once more it let out a concerningly jagged humanoid sound that had you shaken. “. _..no…..aaaaal…_ .” You couldn’t tell what it was trying to say- if it was even _trying_ to say something. It sounded more like a death rattle than anything else, and a part of you _wished_ it was something that simple. 

“.. _..no.....tttttt.......re.....aalll.......?_ ”

The voice raised in pitch and its head swiveled mockingly at you while you panicked internally. As you tried to grasp what it was saying you felt the nausea from earlier come back stronger. Swallowing harshly you watched the creature throat twist around to an uncomfortable angle and start to warble faster in a sharper pitch. “.... _It’ssss...not….reaaaalllll_ …..” Recoiling slightly you listened in horror as the bird began to mimic your voice.

“.. _..Cra-azy? Meeeee? Hee...hee...._.”

“..... _..why don’t you looooook in a mirroooor..._ **_BITCH_ ** _-_ ”

The bird launched itself from the ground at you and on reflex you slapped it away from you with a frightened yelp before it could hurt you. Watching it slam back on the ground you felt your legs prime themselves to run while you sucked down a deep breath into your lungs. You needed to get out- _Fuck_ which way had you come from-

 _“...Azael? AzAEl? I’m scared! I’m scared yes sir yes I aM! Save me! SAvE mE!.....oH wait- you can’t! Because you aren’t_ **_REAL_ ** _-”_

Blindly you started running forward in a direction, it didn’t matter where you went you just needed to _get away._ Behind you you could hear the creature struggle for a bit before managing to take flight once more, taunting you with your own voice.

“.... _.I love A-AzaeL! i’M a stupid loser witH NO lifE! I’m cRAzy in love with a figmeNT OF MY OWN imagiNation!_ ”

The voice twisted cruelly into your own and you felt certain buried worries rise in your stomach. _Azael. Was this because you loved Azael…? Had your mental state decayed so far that you had finally snapped?_ You felt your legs slow to a halt as a dark pit began to form in your mind. _Was this your own fault? Was everything that happened today because of your own selfish want to be with someone that doesn’t exist?_ While you contemplated your own mental health the creature behind you spared no mercy and continued its insults and mockery until you eventually couldn’t take it anymore. Fueled on fear and paranoia you screamed at the top of your lungs while covering your ears and tightly shutting your eyes, praying that everything would stop so you could _fucking think straight._

“......?”

You ignored the muffled voice and tried to tune everything out but upon feeling a hand on your shoulder you flinched causing your eyes to crack open slightly. In front of you was a very concerned Mike who seemed mighty confused at your disgruntled state. Cautiously you uncovered your ears and let your arms fall to your side. “M...Mike?” The name was barely more than a whisper as you quickly looked around for the bird monster, which seemed to have blinked out of existence at Mike’s presence. 

“Hey- Hey-! Look at me are you alright? I heard you screaming all the way from the barn, are you okay?” Mike dragged your attention back to his face but you couldn’t help the sense that you were being watched. _That something else was watching the two of you._ You tried to listen to Mike, you honestly did, but you were so worked up from whatever the hell that thing was that most of what he said went in one ear and out the other. “M-Mike-” Your voice cracked and bordered on hysteria. “-Did you see it?! D-Did you see the bird!?” Shakily you grabbed onto him as a sob throttled your body. “Please- Please tell me you saw it-” _You weren’t crazy. You weren’t. You weren’t-_

“Calm down.” Mike leveled your gaze with his and carefully took hold of your hand, gently beginning to guide you out of the field. “Are you hurt anywhere?” Pushing the excess words back down your throat you shook your head. “N-No I’m fine, but-” You hesitated. “Did you see it Mike? It-It was there I _swear_ and-and it was _talking_ and...and...” Seeing his expression begin to resemble one of confused doubt you felt everything inside you churn uncomfortably. _Were you even listening to yourself? That’s crazy talk. And you…._ **_You_ ** _weren’t crazy…._

_Right?_

An eerie calm settled over you as you looked at Mike and the thoughts swirled in your head. “Mike, did you throw the stuff I asked for into the trunk of my car? Or do we still need to load it in?” The boy looked taken aback by the sudden change in topic. “Yeah, I already put them in but are you-” Stiffly you turned and started walking away toward your car, ignoring Mike’s question. You needed to reevaluate yourself, and perhaps the side-effects of your current medical prescriptions. “Mike, I’ll talk to you later, I’m feeling a bit under the weather at the moment. Also please do me a favor and tell your dad I said hi and that I look forward to seeing him later on in the month....” You paused and looked back at the worried boy before trying your best to put a genuine smile on your face. “....I’ll be fine, Mike.... I promise.”

_Promise?_

Not waiting for a response you quickly got yourself situated in your car and drove off in a slightly rushed manner. You just needed to get home to where you knew you were safe. Home sweet home where the things that go bump in the night couldn’t reach you. Your personal safe haven.

Or so you thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!!! Sorry for the delay, writer's block is a bitch. I have the outline for the next chapter already done though so it shouldn't take as long!!!
> 
> Comments are my food please feed me uwu


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